A Reminder of What is Possible with Our Children

Photo of a small, white child in a t-shirt raising his arms jumping in a pile of leaves

Side-by-side, my kids working together – I paused for a moment and gazed in wonder.

That afternoon, we had been preparing the garden for winter. Each fall, after we’ve pulled out all of our plants, we pile up compost, straw, and leaves to build the soil, mimicking what happens in the forest. This year, we had an addition to the process. When we ordered our seeds in the spring, my younger son spotted a plant in the catalog named for his favorite animal – elephant garlic. As we were also ordering carrots because they’re associated with my older son’s favorite animal (rabbits), we just had to get it.

So while I shoveled compost, I gave my kids the task of planting the garlic. My older son was (justifiably) complaining about the smell of the compost and loves picking things apart, so peeling the garlic was a perfect task for him. Once that was done, they needed to work together to plant it. I pointed out that it might be best for my older son to measure out where to put the cloves – elephant garlic needs a ton of space – as he has experience from math class at measuring things. Then my younger son could dig the holes, drop in the cloves, and cover them up.

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To My Child Turning Five

To My Child Turning Five (Photo of a kid in a fuzzy jacket with a mask sitting on a rock)

To my younger son,

You’re five. How has it been five years since that chaotic day you came into our lives, three weeks early and only a few hours after I had a job interview? (Yes, really.) How could it have been so many months since they placed you – so very tiny – in my arms after so much anxiety and bated breath? When I wondered how your brother would react, how you would fit in our family, who you would be?

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Resource: Climate Justice Toolkit for Families

Climate Justice Toolkit for Families (Photo of kids at a rally in front of a Capital building with a sign saying "Kids want climate justice")

Do you want to talk to your kids about climate change but you don’t know how? Even young kids are hearing about climate change, from overhearing the news to learning about it in school. When kids who feel empowered to act on climate change are less anxious about it and more able to make changes for good!

I’ve worked with Raising Luminaries to develop a Climate Justice toolkit for families and teachers with elementary school children!

Be sure to check out our toolkit and pass it on to anyone you think would be interested. It’s a free and accessible resource for all.

Learning about Parenting from My Bunny-Obsessed Children

Picture: Lop-eared bunny next to a rope ball; Learning About Parenting from my Bunny-Obsessed Children
“Just give him space,” I plead. “Seriously, just back off.”
Despite my increasingly desperate tone of voice, the kids crowd around our new bunny. No matter how much I urge them to give him an escape route or to not stick food in his face – “Would you like me to stick broccoli in your face?” I ask – they just can’t seem to help it. They just love him too much to leave him alone.
But isn’t that feeling familiar to us parents?

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Raising Kind, Engaged, and Green Kids!

Cartoon of woman with brown hair hugging two boys

Join us in raising kids to be kind, engaged, resilient, and sustainable world citizens! We’ll Eat You Up, We Love You So chronicles my family’s adventures in radical kindness and sustainability.

My book, Growing Sustainable Together: Practical Resources for Raising Kind, Engaged, Resilient Children was released in June 2020 with North Atlantic Books! You can order it anywhere books are sold, including your local bookstore, Amazon, and Barnes & Nobel.

How I Became An Environmental Mom

Photo: Young boy hugging a tree (Text: How I Became An Environmental Mom)

Shovel in hand, I scooped up clod after clod of dirt from our yard. My four-year-old self placed each scoop-full in a pile, leaving a hole in front of me. Each time, some fell on my pink sweatpants, but I just focused on my task. In the sandy soil, I encountered worms, pill-bugs, grubs. I looked at them and shrugged, placing them to the side. The word sustainability wasn’t in the parlance then. I didn’t know or care why it’s good for kids to play outdoors. I just knew that I felt like I was doing something powerful, even if it was only powerful to me.

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How My Kids Are Helping Me Learn a New Skill

How My Kids Are Helping Me Learn a New Skill (Photo: White woman holding an acoustic guitar with two kids in front of her)

“That is a noise a guitar should never make.” I wince as my five-year-old scratches the strings of my acoustic guitar again. “Seriously, knock it off.”

He switches to strumming. The out-of-tune notes combine together in a way that’s the opposite of harmonic.

“It sounds beautiful!” he proclaims.

“Uh, it really doesn’t,” I respond. “It really needs to be tuned.”

My two-year-old squeaks, “Tune!” and grabs the knobs on the top of the guitar’s neck, turning them wildly. So much for getting it more, rather than less, in tune.

As much as this entire process pains me, I keep getting the guitar out.

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2017’s Best of We’ll Eat You Up, We Love You So

2017's Best of We'll Eat You Up, We Love You So (Photo: Cartoon of a party hat)

2018 is approaching at astonishing speed! 2017 was a hell of a year in so many ways.

Politically, it was….well, it was bad. But it wasn’t as bad as I thought it could be, mainly because I have a dark imagination and have read a lot of dystopic fiction. I’m actually surprised at how non-despairing I am coming to the end of the year!

My attitude is decent in part because of the good things in my personal life. Those have made up for a lot of the big picture shit. Sure, life with a preschooler and toddler is far from easy. But the worst of the one to two kid transition is over. We had some great family trips. Most importantly, I felt like I could finally breathe again. Even if I haven’t managed to get any more sleep than I had been.

Throughout the year, my posts have chronicled the ups and downs, as well as offered some hard-learned advice.

Here were my top five most popular posts original to 2017 (leaving out the gift guides). Fortunately, they’re also some of my favorite!

Here are a few more that weren’t quite as popular, but either people said meant a lot to them or I just personally liked:

If you missed them at the time, I also published articles in the Washington Post, Mamalode, Her View from Home, and Perfection Pending.

I hope everyone has a great New Years and is ready for 2018!

How I Failed at Christmas – And I Didn’t Care

How I Failed at Christmas - And Didn't Care

 

A few years ago, I thought about what I had to do before Christmas and had a deep, sinking feeling. My own bedtime was already too late, my to-do list too long, and my anxieties far too sharp. I had gone through a personal tragedy earlier in the year and was struggling with a difficult pregnancy.

As much as I hated it, I had to give some things up. Even if it meant I felt like I was failing at Christmas. As it turned out, I didn’t regret a thing.

Here’s what I ended up not doing, what I learned, and what I’ve picked back up (and not) since then:

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Family Kindness Challenge: Model Kindness by Volunteering

Family Kindness Challenge Day 3: Do Something Kind for Animals and the Environment (Photo: A pinecone sitting on a tree stump)

The Activity:

Seeing kindness in action is one of the most powerful things a child can witness and participate in. Spending real time, money, and energy in service of someone else helps widen their perspective. Having a parent include them also communicates a powerful message about your values and priorities.

If you have a favorite local charitable organization, look into how you can get your kids involved in volunteering for it. Even if kids aren’t allowed to help in a warehouse or Habitat for Humanity build site, they can frequently raise money. When I was a kid, I set up a little stand on my front yard to sell pom-pom critters and donated the proceeds to environmental groups. Blogger Ilana Whiles at Mommy Shorts is participating in a program where her kids bake and sell cookies to raise money for pediatric cancer programs.

If you’re not familiar with nearby groups, looking into a local or regional homeless lunch program is a good place to start. Many of them do welcome children volunteering, as long as they’re coached ahead of time on expectations and responsibilities. Others may not have a direct role kids can play on-site, but have other activities they can do for their clients. For example, kids may be able to run a food drive. In addition to the normal canned goods, our food bank accepts donations of produce at the farmers’ market.

Other options may be more creative. Our local homeless lunch program likes having colorful, seasonal placemats for their meals, which can be a really fun activity for little ones.

Whatever group you work with, let the needs of the people they serve dictate your actions. In some cases, the most “fun” ways of volunteering aren’t the ones that are most needed. True service has to center the needs of the people being served, nor desires of the people serving.

Even if you aren’t able to volunteer today (short notice!), try to research what volunteer opportunities are possible with kids in your area. Most charitable organizations, especially local ones, have a “Get Involved” section on their website with the best ways to help.

Our Experience:

For Thanksgiving, my husband and four-year-old (nicknamed Sprout) baked an extra apple pie for the homeless lunch program at our church (run by Bethesda Cares, Inc). The church across the street that co-hosts the program with us provided a Thanksgiving dinner for their clients and served the pie with dessert.

Because Sprout can’t yet use a real paring knife, Chris tasked him with taking chunks of apple and slicing them thinner. He approached his task with great gusto! Then, he helped add the other ingredients and mix them together.

Before and during the process, we explained that we were making this pie for people who don’t have homes and wouldn’t have anywhere to go on Thanksgiving otherwise. As I want to cultivate respect and kindness for people rather than pity, we just stated these things very simply. To help him empathize, we added, “That wouldn’t be very fun, would it?” but didn’t try to force any sense of sadness.

To help him see the impact, he did go with Chris to drop off the pie. Chris said he was a little intimated, but I suspect that was because it was a lot of people he didn’t know than anything else.

I hope that we can continue to help him (and as my toddler gets older, him too) get involved in ways that are both rewarding and genuinely helpful.