“Noooooo!” my older son yells at the screen as a giant seal almost swallows the penguin protagonist of Happy Feet.

“I know it’s scary!” I affirm. “But do you really think they’ll kill off the main character in this type of movie?”

“No,” he admits.

“Trust me. Trust the characters that they’ll get out okay,” I assure him. He sits back down to watch the movie.

I get his fear because I’ve experienced it myself. Like him, I get deeply immersed in fictional worlds, caring about the characters as if they’re people I know.

Beyond stories, I also know that fear of not being able to trust that everything will be okay. How often have I had his “noooo!” in my head, albeit internally? How often have I not trusted the people who surround me to pull off some form of a happy ending for everyone?

As disruptive as yelling during a movie is, second-guessing the people around you is much more so. Complaining that when my dad does the dishes at my house that he doesn’t do them correctly. Questioning my husband’s judgment in parenting decisions. Telling my mom that I would have done an activity with the kids differently or not at all. Yamming at my kids because they aren’t doing tasks on my timeline. Feeling like I have to take on every task in volunteer groups because I can’t trust others to do it. This attitude reduces your gratitude towards the people you love, destroys trust, and undermines their efforts. It’s also freaking exhausting – you’re constantly feeling like you have to do everything yourself because you’re the only person who can do it right.

The fact is, I know what kind of movie I’m in. I know what kind of characters the people I love are. Sure, they aren’t perfect and I often disagree with how they do things. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t trust them. That shouldn’t mean that anything that deviates from my ideal plot should inspire a “nooooo!” reaction from me.

So I’m working on it. I’m trying to hold my tongue when I disagree about something that’s ultimately inconsequential. I’m trying to be grateful for the work done and the love showed. I’m trying to trust more.

Because long past when my kids yell at characters in movies, they’ll remember how I treated them and other people around them. They’ll remember how I built or broke trust. So today, I choose trust – for their sake and mine.

For more, follow We’ll Eat You Up, We Love You So by Shannon Brescher Shea.