This may look like a plate of waffles to you, but it looks like growing up to me.
“Mickey waffles!” my five year old (nicknamed Sprout) declared, holding the box up and spinning around. The waffles responded by flying out of the box and smashing into the floor. There wasn’t a single clean waffle left.
Looking at the waffles under the table, his eyes started to well up. His voice went up a pitch and his mouth emitted one word: “Nooooo!” Some kids have a huge spike of emotion and then calm down easily. Not him. Like me, once he feels an emotion deeply – and he feels a lot of emotions deeply – it sticks with him. Even when it seems like he’s calmed down, that intensity threatens to pop back up at any moment.
But this time was different. At first, he got upset – but then he got thinking. After acknowledging the crappiness of the situation, I suggested my husband go buy more waffles. Sprout had another idea.
“Why don’t we walk to the store?” he asked. As we had nothing else to do that Saturday morning, I said, “That sounds like a great idea!” It saved my husband a trip to the store (which he would have most likely driven to) and allowed Sprout more control over the situation. On top of that, Sprout even apologized to his brother for delaying the waffle breakfast.
After eating some toast to prevent getting hangry, we headed off. We noticed that the neighbors’ dogs weren’t out, pretended we were stopping at imaginary restaurants, and gave advice on watching trains to a dad with a toddler trying to spot the Metro go by. Sprout was terribly proud when the dad followed his advice and the train driver pulled the whistle, eliciting serious joy from the toddler. At the store, he negotiated over which granola bars to get, retrieved a sample of grapes for his brother (even though Sprout doesn’t like them), and selected pasta for that night’s dinner. On the way home, dark gray clouds threatened to soak us, but we avoided it with quick walking and umbrellas.
When we returned home, the waffles went in the toaster and onto the kids’ plates. Sprout soaked his in maple syrup and devoured them with the satisfaction of a kid having solved a problem on his own.
I loved that he took responsibility for his mistake and that I was able to let him. He’s always been a kid who’s craved control; he’s now getting old enough to use it well. It was also such a relief for me to see him appropriately manage his emotions. Since then, I’ve also noticed a huge increase in his gratitude and appreciation.
Our kids’ growth is usually little by little. But sometimes it comes in big jumps.
Perhaps it was just him brain and heart getting ready for the end of kindergarten and his sixth birthday, which happened this past weekend. From five to six – apparently, it’s not just a change in year, but a change in maturity. Happy birthday to Sprout!
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