Writing a book is a lot like birthing a baby. Both require huge amounts of work to bring into the world. Both have unending unpredictabilities and surprises. Both are deep works of love.

And today, I’m celebrating both. It’s my book release day for Growing Sustainable Together: Practical Resources for Raising Kind, Engaged Resilient Children and the anniversary of my older son’s birth.

Without my older son, the book would have never existed. After all, he made me a mom and it’s a parenting book.

But even more than that, he taught me to stop and take my time. To listen. To just be with someone else.

He who always moves on his own schedule, who came into the world five days after his due date, who treats every trip as an opportunity to observe and explore. He who questions and pushes, who never does anything because “that’s the way it’s done.” He who has boundless energy, intense emotions, and high highs and low lows. He who bursts forth with enthusiasm for his deepest passions. He who has to work hard to understand himself and the world around him so that he can move through it.

Without watching and learning from him, without the patience to listen, without knowing him, I would have never been able to write this book. I know it’s a cliche to say that becoming a parent made me be a better person, but at least for me, it’s true. To be the mom I wanted to be, I had to grow so much. I had to develop skills that I never thought were possible for me – and yet, when I dug deep into my love for my child, they were there, waiting for me to cultivate them. Without those skills, I would have never had the insight and empathy to write a book about kindness. The research, the brains would have been there to draw on – but the heart wouldn’t.

So thank you to my son for making a parent those years ago.

Thank you to you, my readers, for without you, this book wouldn’t have happened either. Writing for you and hearing your feedback has lead to growth I didn’t think was possible either. Humility that allowed me the bravery to throw out an entire book proposal and pursue a new one. Bravery that allowed me to take a chance on being able to write and publish a book in a year. Thank you to the many people who helped me bring this book into the world by lending me their expertise.

My hope for my children is to teach them to be kind individuals who love people, who see the beauty and pain in the world, and have the bravery to revolutionize the systems that hurt people. My hope for my book is that it can help other families do the same for their children.

So happy birthday to my child and my book. May what I’ve learned in the years since my son was born help your family as well.