child development

Allowing Wonder to Overcome Fear

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 1 Comment
A view up at the dark blue night sky with stars through dark trees

The sky was dark and smattered with stars. The Big Dipper shone out, bright and prominent. I stood on the campground road, looking up, my mouth partly open as if I was about to say something but then stopped in surprise. I watched the sky for a few minutes and then walked up the road to our campsite, my flashlight off. I gazed upwards every few moments, trying to cement the sight into my memory.

As I reached the campsite, my kids were getting ready to walk to the bathroom. “Keep your flashlight off!” I recommended. “You’ll see the stars so much better.” They hesitated, then turned them off, trusting me and the desire to see that beauty themselves.

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Counting the years through cakes

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11 years old – 11 years of fabulous cakes.

I’m generally in charge of choosing and buying my kids’ birthday presents, but my husband does one very special thing for them every year – make a phenomenal cake.  He did go to culinary school, but only spent about a day or so on pastry. It’s mainly self-taught. And it’s such a clear illustration of his love for our kids and how that relationship has evolved over the years. My older son’s 11th birthday brought about the latest of my husband’s creations.

A square cake with grass frosting and a multi-colored orb and 3 little alien looking creatures lined up next to it. There are more “planted” inside the cake below them
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How environmental activities can help neurodivergent kids

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A children's bicycle with a blue bag on the handlebars and a five-headed stuffed dragon in the bag
My younger son’s bike, complete with a monster companion

Feet pushing confidently on his pedals, riding his bike in loops around the park, I see the stress melt away from my older son. I’ve described it as moving meditation for him. He’s an emotionally intense kid, but other forms of meditation just didn’t meet his needs. They were often too quiet or too still. Biking fulfilled that need to move, his body in sync with his mind and everything else.

I know my kid isn’t the only neurodivergent kid for whom biking helps. (For those not familiar, neurodivergent refers to any person whose brain doesn’t match the “typical” brain. It includes autistic people, people with ADHD, people with depression, anxiety, dyslexia, and more.) In fact, there are many environmentally friendly activities that can help kids (and adults) with some of the challenges that come with being neurodivergent. Even if you and your kids are neurotypical, these activities have many of the same benefits. This is actually what much of my book is about!

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Extending a Bit of Empathy to a Fellow Parent

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My older son when he was three and my younger son was an infant. (Alt-text: A young white boy in a red sweater, sitting on the floor playing with a toy fire truck)

“What age is she?” I asked the dad standing with a double stroller next to me in the elevator. The top seat had an older toddler in it; the bottom one was empty, but from the conversation between them, it sounded like there was a baby with the mom.

“Three,” he sighed, obviously exhausted.

“Oh, that’s a tough age,” I responded, trying to sound as sympathetic as possible. Three was by far the hardest for us, especially when our older kid was that age and our younger kid was an infant. “It gets easier – and more fun.”

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Cute Robot Dogs and Raising Kids Who Ask Questions

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A robot dog that has a yellow and black body "standing" on top of a set of uneven stairs with two children and an adult looking through a window on the other side

The dog stretched its legs, sniffed around, and laid down to rest. All totally normal dog things. Except this one was made of metal and settled itself into a charging station. All of the kids watching from outside a window cried “Awww!” They were crying in wonder of not just a dog, but a robot dog! How cool is that, right? Maybe.

Once I pulled the kids away from the window and bought tickets to get in the Boston Museum of Science (where we were), I discovered that the robot dog was part of a larger artificial intelligence (AI) exhibit. I talk a lot about using AI for science in work, so I was intrigued. How was the Museum of Science going to explain AI in a way that was interesting to non-scientists?

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Why posts about shallow inclusivity make me cringe

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A photo of me (a white woman with brown hair and glasses) in a Wonder Woman dress standing in front of a bookshelf with books and a plant on it

I know what it’s like to be the kid sitting alone in the cafeteria. I also know what it’s like to be the kid who befriends a kid sitting alone in the cafeteria.

In eighth grade, I was having a very rough year. At the beginning of the year, I was kicked off the swim team for the simple fact that I wasn’t very good, the one place I had a semblance of a social life. I had befriended a few folks at the beginning of the year, but wasn’t very close to them yet and didn’t have the same lunch as them. Most of the time, I ate lunch in the cafeteria alone and then moved on to the library to read or music room to practice my saxophone. I never got particularly good at the saxophone, but it was a heck of a lot better than sitting around by myself in the cafeteria.

Around that time, an advisor for a club I was in (who was also a guidance counselor) suggested that I befriend a classmate. I knew I was nowhere near popular. I was barely tolerated in class among the “smart popular” kids who were in honors classes but weren’t as weird.

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Not Letting Expectations Box In Our Kids

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A humpback whale sticking its face out of the water with seagulls flying around

“These whales are very good at what they do,” said the naturalist on our whale watch. She was talking about humpback whales’ ability to open their giant, baleen-filled mouths and eat huge amounts of tiny crustaceans and fish. Of course, the crowd oohed and awwwed at such amazing creatures as they gulped up gallons upon gallons of water.

But I’ve said almost that exact same phrase about ants and other insects as well, who are just as amazing in their own way. When my kids say something about how smart an animal is or isn’t, I tend to say something along the lines of, “Well, they’re very good at being an ant” – or an earthworm or a bee or whatever.

So if we can think that about animals, why can’t we think that about people too? Not that the person is very good at being a person, but they’re very good at being *themselves.* But so often, we judge people – namely kids – on how well they match arbitrary standards.

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Opportunity, Risk, and Bad Ideas

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My younger son (a white boy in a black sweatshirt) standing on a playground merry-go-round as it is spinning, with a row of pine trees behind him

Sometimes your kids take a cautionary tale as an questionable opportunity.

When I was about eight – old enough for my front teeth to be permanent – my mom sent me off to the park for the first time without her. I was with our next door neighbor, who was a few years older than me. He was supposed to be the responsible one.

I was quite fond of hanging upside down from various items of playground equipment, including things that probably shouldn’t have been hung upside down from. Including the bars on the infamous merry-go-round.

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