Before we can look forward to our New Years resolutions, it’s useful to reflect back, examining what worked and what didn’t this year. In the best case scenario, you know what to continue; at worst, you know what to stop doing. For us, we had such big changes this year that we had to learn a lot just to keep up.
Here’s what worked for us and totally failed this year in parenting. Hopefully, some our lessons learned will help you too!
Want your kids to focus less on “stuff” and more on people? Try these six ways to serve others at Christmas with them!
“Did they have a home?” my three-year-old asked as I finished telling him the Christmas story.
“Yes, they had a home,” I said, skipping the whole “escaping into Egypt” bit. While his question surprised me, it wasn’t out of nowhere. We’ve been talking about how not everyone has the same privileges we do, including homes.
These discussions are important all year round, but I find them especially important at the holidays. It’s easy for kids to get wrapped up in the Christmas’s surface-level magic, from twinkling lights to presents. Instead, as both a Christian and someone who’s concerned with our society’s inequality, I want to teach my kids how to serve others during Christmas.
Here are some ways to turn away from consumerism and towards serving others at Christmas:
Some moms worry what the other parents will think of them showing up at the preschool drop-off in leggings or even pajamas. But this day, ripped yellow leggings were the most normal part of my outfit. More eye-catchingly, I had a furry brown dress and giant red-tinged wig. Sure, it was Halloween. But that didn’t mean I felt self-assured at all dressed as a real-life Wild Thing, from the book Where the Wild Things Are.
We were at my older son’s preschool to march in the Halloween parade with him. As my husband, I, my kids, and my parents walked across the parking lot, I tried to hold my head high.
“You know, Shannon, you may be the only parents in costume,” my mom said.
I swallowed. “Then they just don’t have enough Halloween spirit,” I declared, my voice trembling. What if we were the only ones? What would they think of us? I figured our costumes would be the most elaborate, but what if no one else was in costume at all?
I am not the mom just standing behind the kid thinking, “Oh that’s rather mean. Lalalala.”
There are times I simply don’t like my three-year-old.
Fellow parents of three-year-olds may be gasping in mock surprise.
However, I really thought I could avoid this feeling. Child psychologists say that toddlers can tap into some of our deepest insecurities. Or as Chris jauntily sang to me the other day, “Toddlers are emotionally abusive.”
This week, I’m going to be telling the stories of how Sprout and Little Bird were born. For two babies born in the same place in the same way, the births of my two sons could not have been more different.
No one was ready for my second son’s arrival.
Three and a half weeks before my due date, I told my doctor, “I’m having some pains.” I didn’t think much of it because I had some face-twisting Braxton Hicks false contractions earlier. Nonetheless, I didn’t want to take any chances. I was going to travel New Jersey to attend my grandmother’s funeral that weekend, and didn’t want to take any unnecessary risks.
Looking up between my legs after checking me, the doctor said, “You shouldn’t travel. You’re already four centimeters dilated.”
Despite his nickname, Little Bird has always strived to be big. When he was inside me, he wouldn’t just kick, he’d stretch, his feet jamming into my organs. He arrived 3 1/2 weeks early, scrambling out into the world unexpectedly. Now he’s been with us for more than six months, a half-year full of so many changes.
When Little Bird arrived, he was a peanut, just over five pounds. As Sprout said, “He’s so teeny tiny!” Because he hadn’t gained most of the fat babies do in their last weeks in utero, his wrinkly face looked especially old-mannish.
Welcome to Day 3 of the Outdoors Family Challenge! This is a seven day challenge to help get you and your kids outside, living more sustainably, and connecting more with nature and each other. You can read about our experience yesterday or check out the archived prompts on the Outdoors Family Challenge page. If you would like updates each morning with the activities, sign up for the email list or like our Facebook page.
Have a nature scavenger hunt
Children approach nature with an inherent sense of play. They love searching out objects that look ordinary to adults and imbuing them with great meaning.
One way to spark and encourage that curiosity is to have a scavenger hunt. Download the scavenger hunt worksheet as a PDF or print out the graphic or text below. Unlike a regular scavenger hunt, where there are specific “right” answers, there may be many ways to fulfill each category here. In addition, there are a number of blank spaces where you can make your own categories!
While our household has strict limits on kids’ screen time, there is one show we consistently allow Sprout to watch- Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. This Mr. Rogers’ spin-off captures much of the charm of the original, even though it’s animated rather than live action.
Some parents have “trick babies” – babies that are just so darn easy that you want to have another one right away. I literally cannot imagine a baby that simple – neither of my kids have been that easy. On the other hand, Little Bird does have some characteristics different from Sprout that I now know to be grateful for.