parenting philosophy

Being a Good Parent Means Relying on Community

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Being a Good Parent Means Relying on Community; photo of a white boy looking at a museum display labeled "The A B Cs of Abolitionists"

“Hey, where are you going?” my friend Randi called after my younger son. My kid was wandering away without telling anyone, as he has a tendency to do.

My head jerked that way, suddenly realizing that she was the only one who had eyes on him. I had been absorbed in conversation with her husband, Drew, one of my oldest friends and someone I hadn’t seen in person in years.

Shame and fear flooded my brain. What if she hadn’t been watching? How far would he have gotten? We were at the National Museum of American History, so it would have been easy for him to just disappear. I should have seen him before she did! Wouldn’t have a good mom noticed that earlier?

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How My Kids and I Connected Over Video Game Music

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

How My Kids and I Connected Over Video Game Music; logo of the 8-Bit Big Band, which is written in retro video-game font with controller icons on the sides

My kids love video games. Really, really love them. In particular, my older son is intensely into Mario Bros games. Classic, new – if it’s Mario, he loves it.

I like video games. I enjoy them and was hard-core into a couple of computer games as a kid, but I’d usually prefer to read a book or watch a movie.

But one thing my kids and I all have in common is a love of music. In fact, a need for music. None of us do well with silence. If things are too quiet, the kids will drive each other (and me) to despair by competing to make noises or sing loudly.

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The Challenges and Necessity of Positive Parenting

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

The Challenges and Necessity of Positive Parenting; photo of a man in a red winter coat next to a kid with a blue winter coat and hat standing next to a stream with a small waterfall with bare trees in the background

Positive parenting – or gentle parenting or conscious parenting – is hard.

It’s hard being patient and kind and demonstrating good listening skills. It’s hard relating to these little people who have such different perspectives as us but also remind us of the characteristics that we ourselves struggle with the most. It’s hard having positive healthy relationships with the people you love the most that you’re also responsible for guiding towards adulthood. It’s hard when you have to push back against what so much of society labels as “good kids” or “good parenting.” It’s hard when the world takes so much out of us and leaves so little left for our children.

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How Square Dancing, Peanut Butter, and Tea Helped Me Talk to My Kids About Anti-Semitism and Racism

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

How Square Dancing, Peanut Butter, and Tea Helped Me Talk to My Kids about Anti-Semitism and Racism; a photo of a can of peanut butter and a box of tea

I started telling my husband something, but like always, my kids were listening. My kids are always listening, unless it involves something we need them to do.

I was telling my husband about how I had answered a question on Facebook – one that the original poster probably meant as a hypothetical. I said, “So they asked, ‘Why did we all have to learn square dancing?’ It was probably meant as a joke, but I replied – in all seriousness – “Because of racism and anti-Semitism.”

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What Our Rabbit Reminded Me About Connection

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 2 Comments

Photo of a white rabbit with brown spots sitting on a blue couch arm; text: What our rabbit reminded me about connection

I felt a nipping at my jeans and looked down. “Hey, stop that!” I chided our pet rabbit Hoppity. I frowned. “You have plenty of hay, water…do you want attention?” Softening, I sat down criss-cross on my son’s floor. The bunny hopped over and started licking my jeans. I petted him, running my hand over his soft ears and back. He hopped onto my leg and started licking my other one. I smiled, realizing that this is the first time he had hopped into my lap that didn’t involve food.

What was first a moment of annoyance turned into a moment of connection.

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On Flowers and Children and Unplanned Beauty

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Photo of a bumblebee on a marigold flower; On Flowers and Children and Unexpected Beauty

A small brown haired head with flecks of blond leans down. My son’s nose is almost touching a bright orange flower, its torn pedals sprouting from a huge green stem. In the middle of the flower, there’s a fuzzy yellow and black bumblebee butt sticking out. It has its whole face immersed in the flower, guzzling down nectar. My son watches it in wonder, occasionally speaking to it.

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Talking to Kids About Labor Rights

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Cover of the children's book Click Clack Moo Cows Who Type with a cartoon of three cows and a chicken at a typewriter and the text below "Talking to Kids About Labor Rights"

“And make sure not to get Kelloggs,” I commented to my husband as we were putting together the grocery list.

“Why not Kellogg’s?” my older son said, looking up from his book.

“Well, the people who work for Kelloggs are on strike. That means they aren’t working because they want better work conditions, like better pay. Remember in Click Clack Moo: Cows that Type?” I explained, referencing a hilarious children’s book. In it, the cows and chickens go on strike and refuse to give the farmer eggs and milk until he gives them electric blankets. They use an old typewriter to express their concerns. We’ve read it a bunch of times.

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When a Fun Fact is More Than a Fun Fact

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Photo of a boy holding his arms up to a silhouette of a bird on a shingled wall; Text: When a Fun Fact Is More than a Fun Fact

“I just wanted to thank you,” said an unfamiliar voice beside me. Looking left, away from the informational plaque I was reading, I saw an older woman standing next to me. “I was behind you and heard you explaining all of the information to your kids and they were so interested. I heard other kids saying that they were bored and I knew your kids weren’t. I even learned a lot!”

“Uh, thanks!” I responded, very flattered. We were at the Whydah Pirate Museum in Cape Cod, a very good historical museum with a wealth of information and artifacts. I had been guiding my kids through by summarizing the informational plaques and connecting the information to concepts my kids were already familiar with. They seemed to be genuinely interested until the very end when my five-year-old understandably began running out of steam. I was too busy carrying on my patter and keeping my kids entertained that I hadn’t even noticed the woman behind us.

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Complicating the Good-Bad Narrative with Our Kids

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

"Complicating the Good-Bad Narrative with Our Kids" with photo of the Dungeons and Dragons Players' Handbook, which has a demon-monster on it

“So Bowser would be chaotic evil, right?” my older son asked as we sat on our front steps, referring to the villain of his favorite Mario Bros video games.

“Hmmm, I think so. He just wants to cause chaos and hurt people rather than follow any laws while doing so. Maybe neutral evil,” I replied, talking in terms of the alignment chart from Dungeons and Dragons.

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