“He said his favorite time of day is when he’s going to bed and gets to talk to mommy for a while,” said the text from my husband, referencing my three year old son.
Kid, why don’t you just stab me in the heart again?
Challenges
When Giving Is Worse Than Receiving as a Parent
As I approached the playground sandbox, I spotted my six- year-old marching away from it with purpose. My husband followed close behind. “We’ll find it!” he proclaimed.
“Find what?” I asked.
“The ball! We don’t know where it went,” my husband responded. Oops.
“I, uh, gave it away,” I admitted.
Not Allowing Judgment to Take Up Space
“He’s so smart!” said the man sitting next me on the plane, referring to my older son. “I can tell by the questions he’s asking.”
“Uh, thanks,” I replied. To me, intelligence is a bit like physical beauty – nice to have, but not something I as a parent can take credit for, per say.
Why I Don’t Mind Anymore that My Son Prefers My Husband
“I want daddy,” my older son (nicknamed Sprout) responded when asked who he wanted to read bedtime stories with. In the past, I would have been choking back tears. These days, I feel differently.
Applying What We Teach Our Kids to Ourselves
“Mama, [kid’s classmate] told me he was stronger than me,” said my five year old, nicknamed Sprout. “But I’m faster than him.”
“Well, you can tell him that you’re faster than him,” I responded, then immediately regretted it. “Actually, no. That wouldn’t be a good thing to say.” One, I had no idea if my kid was actually faster than the other kid. Two and more importantly, starting a comparison war was going to lead to nowhere good very quickly.
How I Protect My Kids’ Online Privacy as a Blogger
“I’m going to tweet that!” I proclaimed after my older son did something so very kid-funny.
“No. Don’t tweet that,” my five year old son replied, frowning.
“Oh,” I hesitated. “I guess I won’t then.”
“Mommy would never post anything you don’t want her to,” my husband chimed in.
I almost said, “Well, I didn’t say that.” Instead, I nodded.
What My Son Being Scared at a Movie Taught Me About Trust
“Noooooo!” my older son yells at the screen as a giant seal almost swallows the penguin protagonist of Happy Feet.
“I know it’s scary!” I affirm. “But do you really think they’ll kill off the main character in this type of movie?”
“No,” he admits.
“Trust me. Trust the characters that they’ll get out okay,” I assure him. He sits back down to watch the movie.
I get his fear because I’ve experienced it myself. Like him, I get deeply immersed in fictional worlds, caring about the characters as if they’re people I know.
Beyond stories, I also know that fear of not being able to trust that everything will be okay. How often have I had his “noooo!” in my head, albeit internally? How often have I not trusted the people who surround me to pull off some form of a happy ending for everyone?
36 Years Old Isn’t What I Expected It Would Be
36 isn’t what I expected it would be.
When I was 10, I knew I’d have a book published before I was 20. In fact, I expected to be a famous author in the winter and a marine biologist in the summer. I would be so famous that I’d use my maiden name for my writing so I wouldn’t get mobbed when I traveled.
What Happened When I Was Finally Alone with the Kids for a Weekend
“Thoughts and prayers for me as I face one of the biggest challenges of parenting (and yes, I’m very lucky I’ve never done it before) – having the kids for the weekend by myself,” I posted on Facebook two weeks ago. For the first time, I had the kids to myself for more than a day.
In the past, my husband Chris, has always been back by dinner. While I’ve gone on several work trips over the years, he’s never gone on a trip on his own. But two weeks ago, he was headed off to Las Vegas to visit his sister and her new baby.
He deserved it. I owed it to him.
I was also scared shitless.
How Learning About Myself Helped Me Understand My Son
“An 12, huh,” I muttered to myself, looking at my computer screen. I had just taken the “Are You a Sensation Seeker?” self-assessment on the Highly Sensitive Child website. I finally had a word to put to something I’ve known for a long time about myself. And more importantly, I also had a word for something I realized much more recently about my older son.