Connecting with Kids

What a Swing Reminded Me About Growing Up

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
Text: What a Swing Reminded Me About Growing Up; Photo: Two white boys swinging on a swing set at a park, with trees and grass in front of them

As I pumped my legs and leaned back in the swing, I noticed my younger son swinging next to me, in parallel, our swings moving in time together.

A memory of swinging as a kid flashed across my mind – the idea that if you swing in sync with someone else, it meant you would get married. I smiled. That saying was nonsense of course, mere playground silliness. But to see this being, the child who I remember being so small, swinging on his own, next to me, reminded me of our deep connection to one another.

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A Reminder of What is Possible with Our Children

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
Photo of a small, white child in a t-shirt raising his arms jumping in a pile of leaves

Side-by-side, my kids working together – I paused for a moment and gazed in wonder.

That afternoon, we had been preparing the garden for winter. Each fall, after we’ve pulled out all of our plants, we pile up compost, straw, and leaves to build the soil, mimicking what happens in the forest. This year, we had an addition to the process. When we ordered our seeds in the spring, my younger son spotted a plant in the catalog named for his favorite animal – elephant garlic. As we were also ordering carrots because they’re associated with my older son’s favorite animal (rabbits), we just had to get it.

So while I shoveled compost, I gave my kids the task of planting the garlic. My older son was (justifiably) complaining about the smell of the compost and loves picking things apart, so peeling the garlic was a perfect task for him. Once that was done, they needed to work together to plant it. I pointed out that it might be best for my older son to measure out where to put the cloves – elephant garlic needs a ton of space – as he has experience from math class at measuring things. Then my younger son could dig the holes, drop in the cloves, and cover them up.

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What a White Board Reminded Me of as a Mom

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
What a White Board Reminded Me of as a Mom - photo of a white board with the words Question? Imagine Wonder and Explore around it with Where the Wild Things Are and alphabet magnets on it

The white board hangs on our basement wall, rather disused. A few letter magnets – an A there, a D there – hang on it, along with a mess of adorable Where the Wild Things Are magnets. In bulletin board letters, the words “Question – Imagine – Wonder – Explore“ posted around it declare its purpose – to inspire questions and inquiry. But while it seems unused, its appearance belies its real impact.

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Just Take Care of Each Other

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
Just Take Care of Each Other; Photo: My kids (both white boys with dirty blonde hair) sitting on stone stairs leading to a stone pathway with grass on both sides, bouncing a small ball

As I watched my younger son walk through the school’s front doors, I could feel the words not leave my lips. I usually yell “Take care of each other!” to him and his brother as they walk into school together. But that morning, his brother had a doctor’s appointment and wasn’t with us. It felt strange telling him to take care of someone who wasn’t there. But it was strange not saying it as well.

While some of the strangeness came from breaking my habit, some of it was because the words I say to them each morning encompass so much of what I want to teach them in life: “I love you” and “Take care of each other.” While these are simple phrases, they hold so much meaning.

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Teaching My Kids Interdependence Instead of Independence

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Teaching My Kids Interdependence Instead of Independence; photo of a kid climbing a rock-climbing wall and almost being at the top

Smearing sunscreen on my face at the pool, I realized it was just me and my older son. My husband had already taken our younger son to the water.

“Hey, how does my face look?” I asked him. Rather than giving me a silly answer, he looked thoughtfully at it and said, “There’s some near your hair.”

Now, I could have looked at the selfie setting on my phone, but I’m glad I didn’t. That’s because I don’t want to teach my children independence. I want to teach them interdependence.

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Finding Wonder in the Smallest of Creatures

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Finding Wonder in the Smallest of Creatures; A squirrel standing on the trunk of a tree, ready to jump

Processing the name tag of the person standing at my table at the local book festival, I had an ah-ha moment. “I think my kids are going to go to see you talk later today!” I exclaimed to her,. “You wrote the elephant book, right?”

She smiled and nodded. “That’s why I stopped by your table – the elephant sign,” she said, gesturing at the sign that said “Protect Elephants from Climate Change” sitting next to a stack of my books. My younger son had made it a few weeks before for a climate change rally. It seemed like an appropriate decoration to accompany an environmental parenting advice book.

“But you know what?” she added, leaning in conspiratorially. “Everyone thinks elephants are my favorite animal because I wrote a book about them. But they’re not. Squirrels are.”

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Letting Go of Control So Our Kids Can Have It

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Letting Go of Control So Our Kids Can Have It; Photo of a young boy running along a stone walkway towards a stone arch with trees over it

“I can’t get the bike lock open!” My older son came up to me with the keys to my bike lock in his hand. He was supposed to be unlocking his bike from the rack at school.

“Uh, just make sure you put it in carefully. It’s kind of fussy. Why don’t you try again?” I said.

“Hahaha, I was just tricking you!” he said. I sighed. He went back to the bike.

A couple minutes later, he was back again. “I really can’t open it. It’s really stuck.”

“Uh, okay, I can help then.”

As I started walking towards the bike, he laughed and said, “I got you again!”

Cue me looking at the non-existent camera in my life, like I’m a sitcom character.

“Ha ha. Yep, you definitely got me. Go unlock your bike, please.”

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How My Kids and I Connected Over Video Game Music

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

How My Kids and I Connected Over Video Game Music; logo of the 8-Bit Big Band, which is written in retro video-game font with controller icons on the sides

My kids love video games. Really, really love them. In particular, my older son is intensely into Mario Bros games. Classic, new – if it’s Mario, he loves it.

I like video games. I enjoy them and was hard-core into a couple of computer games as a kid, but I’d usually prefer to read a book or watch a movie.

But one thing my kids and I all have in common is a love of music. In fact, a need for music. None of us do well with silence. If things are too quiet, the kids will drive each other (and me) to despair by competing to make noises or sing loudly.

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What Our Rabbit Reminded Me About Connection

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 2 Comments

Photo of a white rabbit with brown spots sitting on a blue couch arm; text: What our rabbit reminded me about connection

I felt a nipping at my jeans and looked down. “Hey, stop that!” I chided our pet rabbit Hoppity. I frowned. “You have plenty of hay, water…do you want attention?” Softening, I sat down criss-cross on my son’s floor. The bunny hopped over and started licking my jeans. I petted him, running my hand over his soft ears and back. He hopped onto my leg and started licking my other one. I smiled, realizing that this is the first time he had hopped into my lap that didn’t involve food.

What was first a moment of annoyance turned into a moment of connection.

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