Learning to Let Others Take Care of Us

Text: Learning to Let Others Take Care of Us; Photo: Young child with a bear hat on his head and white woman with a computer on her lap sitting outside on a box

 

“Just let me take care of you!” I yelled at my four year old as I chased him around our beanbag chairs. I was trying to get him to let me put a cold-pack on his forehead, which was rapidly developing quite the goose egg.

Those words echoed in my head as I argued with my own mom a few days later. A pipe in our basement was clogged. Every time we drained our kitchen sink, water filled with food particles spewed up from a pipe behind the washing machine. Lovely. My mom was worried that if we ran the washing machine, it too would make the flooding worse.

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Learning about Parenting from My Bunny-Obsessed Children

Picture: Lop-eared bunny next to a rope ball; Learning About Parenting from my Bunny-Obsessed Children
“Just give him space,” I plead. “Seriously, just back off.”
Despite my increasingly desperate tone of voice, the kids crowd around our new bunny. No matter how much I urge them to give him an escape route or to not stick food in his face – “Would you like me to stick broccoli in your face?” I ask – they just can’t seem to help it. They just love him too much to leave him alone.
But isn’t that feeling familiar to us parents?

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When Gardens Teach Your Kids About Failure

Text: When Gardens Teach Your Kids About Failure; Photo: White woman frowning standing next to a straggly garden
Our garden this year is a testament to my kids that even when you work really hard, you don’t always get what you want.
My cherry tomatoes are usually the pride and joy of my garden. They’re a ridiculous, messy, borderline “haunted garden” disaster area that gives the weeds a run for their money; they also produce a zillion amazing tomatoes. My late, beloved neighbor once told me that she had a bet with our other neighbor that I wouldn’t be able to grow tomatoes – and then was proud of me when she lost her bet. I’m that person who brings in cherry tomatoes to work because we can’t possibly eat all of them. My older son is constantly raiding the garden.
But not this year. And not just because I’m working from home. But because we have stumps sitting in our garden that have produced exactly zero tomatoes so far. At this point, we’ll be extremely lucky if we get any tomatoes at all this year.

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Seeing Clearly Despite It All

The end of summer sun filters through the needles of the big pine tree, throwing shadows on the green weeds in front of me. The cicadas trill out, calling to each other in their waning days. The clear sky spreads overhead, stretching out to the autumn season so close that you can taste it in the cooling air.

“I just farted! I just farted!” My younger son’s voice rings out over the neighborhood from the blow up pool in our front yard.

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Practicing Consent in Everyday Life

Text: "Practicing Consent in Everyday Life." Two white kids in a small inflatable pool on a lawn with a bush in the background.

“Did you ask if you could splash him? You need to ask first,” I insisted.

“Do you want to be splashed?” my older son – who is seven – asked my younger son, who is four.
“Yes!” my younger son responded, with an enthusiasm I certainly wouldn’t have about getting smacked in the face with water.
“Well, as long as he’s okay with it,” I said. After a second, I added, “And you’re not hurting each other.”

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Moving Past Blame for my Kids’ Sake

Title: Moving Past Blame for my Kids' Sake; Photo: Cartoon of a white, blond woman in a kitchen with a broken, spilled coffee cup at her feet (credit: Brene Brown video)

“It doesn’t really matter whose fault it actually is, we need to clean it up together,” I said to my kids, talking about some mess or another. I heard those words come out of my mouth as if I actually believed them. But I did really want to believe them.

I am a blame monster. If there’s blame to put on someone – even myself – I am on the case. I used to think that if you could blame someone for a problem, they would learn their lesson and not do it again.

Problem solved, right? Uh, no.

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Celebrating the Launch of a Book and the Birth of a Child

Title: Celebrating the Launch of a Book and the Birth of a Child; Picture: Cover of Growing Sustainable Together, which has people of various ethnicities doing "green" activities

Writing a book is a lot like birthing a baby. Both require huge amounts of work to bring into the world. Both have unending unpredictabilities and surprises. Both are deep works of love.

And today, I’m celebrating both. It’s my book release day for Growing Sustainable Together: Practical Resources for Raising Kind, Engaged Resilient Children and the anniversary of my older son’s birth.

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