The Challenge and Beauty of Being an Activist Mom

Photo: Photo of a husband and wife dressed in winter clothes hugging with the wife holding a Forward on Climate sign; Text: "The Challenges and Beauty of Being an Activist Mom / We'll Eat You Up, We Love You So"

Standing on the National Mall in the  February cold, I stomped my feet and tried to ignore how sore my lower back felt. Watching the stage, I strained to listen to the speakers, from Silicon Valley billionaires to Native American activists. I was at one of the biggest climate change protests ever, focused on defeating the Keystone XL oil pipeline. While it attracted 12,000 people, it’s unlikely that many were in the same situation as I was: five months pregnant.

Despite the cold and a serious lack of bathrooms, I marched in hopes of shifting the tide against climate change. Now, with the election of Donald Trump for president and the Republican domination of Congress, I find it more important than ever before to be an activist mom.

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What Elmo Can Teach Us About Dealing with Donald Trump

Photo: Photos of Donald Trump and Elmo side-by-side; text: What Elmo Can Teach Us About Dealing with Donald Trump

Of all of the think pieces I’ve read on dealing with Donald Trump’s presidency, there is one small, furry voice that we haven’t heard from: Elmo.

What on earth would innocent Elmo have anything to do with our soon-to-be President, who brags about groping women and lies through his teeth? He’s actually dealt with Trump before – or at least a puppet version of him. In a Sesame Street parody of the Apprentice back in 2005, Elmo is a contestant in a contest to be Donald Grump’s assistant. As the other Grouches (including Oscar) say, “Donald Grump has all the garbage!”

All of us looking to get through the next four years with our sanity intact can learn from what Elmo does in the sketch:

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Fantastic Ways to Teach Kids How to Serve Others at Christmas

Want your kids to focus less on “stuff” and more on people? Try these six ways to serve others at Christmas with them!

“Did they have a home?” my three-year-old asked as I finished telling him the Christmas story.

“Yes, they had a home,” I said, skipping the whole “escaping into Egypt” bit. While his question surprised me, it wasn’t out of nowhere. We’ve been talking about how not everyone has the same privileges we do, including homes.

Cartoon of a Christmas tree

These discussions are important all year round, but I find them especially important at the holidays. It’s easy for kids to get wrapped up in the Christmas’s surface-level magic, from twinkling lights to presents. Instead, as both a Christian and someone who’s concerned with our society’s inequality, I want to teach my kids how to serve others during Christmas.

Here are some ways to turn away from consumerism and towards serving others at Christmas:

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Sharing Values with Family Stories

 

sharing-values-with-family-storiesSitting around the Thanksgiving table, letting the food settle before dessert, was prime storytelling time in my family. At my aunt’s house in New Jersey, we’d cram as many chairs as we could around the table. Instead of focusing on the vastly different places family members ended up, we looked to the past. Even outside of holidays, my family often shared stories, of struggles and triumphs, of funny incidents and serious ones.

As an adult, I now see that these stories influenced my values so much more than any amount of lecturing would have. In fact, children who hear family stories about both good and bad times have more resilience in the face of difficult circumstances than those who don’t. Here are a few of my family’s stories and the values they passed on to me.

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How Parents Can Help Love Trump Hate

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The election of Donald Trump for president has unearthed a whole spectrum of reactions. While some people are triumphant, many of us are frustrated, sad, angry, and exhausted – including me. Trump’s future policies are likely to be disastrous for climate justice, immigrants, people of color, LBGT people, religious minorities, poor people, and disabled people. Even though Trump hasn’t taken office yet, there have been numerous reports of people emboldened by his rhetoric who are targeting and harassing vulnerable people.

But as Valarie Kaur wrote after the Charleston shooting, “Today we mourn, tomorrow we organize.” Now, it’s metaphorically, if not literally, tomorrow. It’s time to pick ourselves up and take action.

While it can be very hard to find time, energy and money to spare as a parent, here are some constructive things that we can do in response:

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To My Children Upon the Election of President Trump

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To my children,

I’m sorry. That’s really the core of what I have to say right now. I’m so, so sorry.

I’m sorry that I was crying as we snuggled in bed this morning. Sprout, when you asked me what was wrong, I said, “The really mean person was elected leader of the country.” I almost choked saying the words. They just seemed so wrong. I’m sorry that I may be crying when I put you to bed tonight.

I’m sorry that our country elected a racist, xenophobic,  misogynistic bully to lead it. That this is the sort of leadership the people of the United States of America actually want to have. That someone who stands for everything that I’m trying to teach you to stand against is going to be the most powerful person in the world. That we can’t hold our future president to higher standards than I hold you.

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Hollywood: Give Us Sci-Fi Heroines with Kids!

Image: Background of cosmic photo. Text: "Hollywood: Give Us Sci-Fi Heroines with Kids!" We'll Eat You Up, We Love You So

Content note: Fairly minor spoilers for a variety of SF movies, mention of trauma relating to infertility.

2015 and 2016 have been fantastic years for action-adventure heroines. Rey saved the universe in Star Wars (despite the dearth of merchandise featuring her), Mad Max: Fury Road was filled with kick-ass women, Supergirl saved the world while her cousin was hypnotized, and Doctor Who’s Clara Oswald basically became a Time Lord. But there’s something missing. Perhaps it’s asking too much, too soon, but Hollywood, I ask of you – give us some geeky heroines with children!

Let’s get the obvious argument out of the way. Supposedly no woman would be getting in danger so often if she had kids at home.

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Outdoors Family Challenge: Day 7 – Eat local!

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Welcome to Day 7 of the Outdoors Family Challenge! This is a seven day challenge to help get you and your kids outside, living more sustainably, and connecting more with nature and each other. You can read about our experience yesterday or check out the archived prompts on the Outdoors Family Challenge pageIf you would like updates each morning with the activities, sign up for the email list or like my Facebook page.

 

Visit a farmers market, farm stand, local farm or pick-your-own.

One of our biggest but most overlooked connections to nature is our food. More than any other industry, agriculture is intimately connected to natural cycles, influenced by the weather and ecosystems. Unfortunately, most people are quite disconnected from what ends up on their plate. But with the growth of interest in local and regional agriculture, it’s the easiest it’s been in decades to connect with where your food comes from, even if you live in a city.

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Outdoors Family Challenge: Day 2 Prompt – Walk or Bike to a Destination

the-outdoors-family-challenge-day-2-prompt

Welcome to Day 2 of the Outdoors Family Challenge! This is a seven day challenge to help get you and your kids outside, living more sustainably, and connecting more with nature and each other. You can read about our experience yesterday or check out the archived prompts on the Outdoors Family Challenge page.  If you would like updates each morning with the activities, sign up for the email list or like my Facebook page.

 

Walk or bike to a destination.

One of the best ways to get outside and connect with your community is to walk or bike places for transportation. Many of my favorite memories as a child were formed from behind a set of handlebars. Now, my family regularly walks to the park and grocery store. 

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Guest Post: Not Perfect, Still Amazing

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The last two years were very challenging and last winter, the difficulties started seriously wearing on my mental health. Thankfully, participating in Stratejoy’s Holiday Council workshop (along with an appointment with a therapist) helped a lot. I wanted to give back, so I wrote a blog post for their website.

The post, called Not Perfect, Still Amazing, is finally up! Part of their Two Truths and a Lie series, it talks through a lot of the issues I deal with but I hope it helps you too.

With their forays into mutant beings, aliens, and time travel, I don’t usually look to superhero television shows for practical advice. But in Supergirl, I’ve found a couple of heroines that have taught me a lot about what means – and doesn’t – to be enough.

Read the rest on Stratejoy’s website! (And isn’t that photo hilarious? That’s a fantastic summary of my life right now.)