“Thoughts and prayers for me as I face one of the biggest challenges of parenting (and yes, I’m very lucky I’ve never done it before) – having the kids for the weekend by myself,” I posted on Facebook two weeks ago. For the first time, I had the kids to myself for more than a day.

In the past, my husband Chris, has always been back by dinner. While I’ve gone on several work trips over the years, he’s never gone on a trip on his own. But two weeks ago, he was headed off to Las Vegas to visit his sister and her new baby.

He deserved it. I owed it to him.

I was also scared shitless.

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No, it’s not a gate fence!” I giggled. As we drove to one of our favorite yearly events, the Maryland Renaissance Faire, we passed the time playing Twenty Questions. It had taken a turn towards the silly, with my then four-year-old guessing the animal I was thinking of was a fence. Even though we were stuck in traffic, we were all laughing hysterically. While the Faire itself was great fun, that half-hour playing 20 Questions is what I remember the most.

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“I was such a rule follower! What happened?” I said to my husband after my kids once again ignored my directions and ran away laughing.

While they follow directions pretty well in school, I know I’m not the only one their anti-authoritarian streak comes out around. My mom has given them The Look she perfected after decades of teaching. They shrug it off. If you start counting without a very specific consequence attached to it, they just look at you, wondering what the point of this counting is. Authority for authority’s sake does not resonate for my children.

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My five-year-old son ran into the living room, his hands over his mouth. The first words out of my mouth were, “Why are you up again?” It was the third time he had gotten out of bed that night. The next words out of my mouth were, “Are you okay?”

He looked confused, then ambled back to his room. Then, we heard retching.

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“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” my older son’s kindergarten teacher told us, leaning slightly forward over the conference room table.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling harder than I expected to at a parent-teacher conference. She had just finished telling us what a delight our son was to have in class, as he worked hard, focused on getting things done, and was kind to his classmates. This is in contrast to some of his behavior at home. Lately, he has been not listening, fighting every effort to get ready for bedtime, antongizing his brother, and having a marked lack of self-control.

As I exhaled, it felt like I had been holding my breath for days.
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