What My Son’s Kindergarten Teacher Said to Me That Made a Huge Difference

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Photo: Child's exercise to write the number 4; Text: What My Son's Teacher Said that Made a Huge Difference

“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” my older son’s kindergarten teacher told us, leaning slightly forward over the conference room table.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling harder than I expected to at a parent-teacher conference. She had just finished telling us what a delight our son was to have in class, as he worked hard, focused on getting things done, and was kind to his classmates. This is in contrast to some of his behavior at home. Lately, he has been not listening, fighting every effort to get ready for bedtime, antongizing his brother, and having a marked lack of self-control.

As I exhaled, it felt like I had been holding my breath for days.
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Why Rock-Climbing With My Son Helped Me Let Go

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Photo: A woman belaying a child who is climbing up an indoor climbing wall. (Text: How Rock-Climbing With My Son Helped Me Let Go)

“You got it, you got it!” I yell to my five-year-old as he reaches for a hold on a rock-climbing wall. He stretches his arm just far enough and grabs it. I reach up to the rope attached to him, pull down, and move my hand back to its original position in one smooth motion.
As I run the rope through my hands, I realize his life is literally in my hands. If he falls, it’s on me to catch him. The rope is the only thing keeping him from the ground and I am in control of it.

But this thought doesn’t spark any anxiety. Lots of things make me nervous, but this – as perilous as hanging 25 feet up may seem – wasn’t one of them.

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Why I Will Never Make My Kids Sit on Santa’s Lap

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

No matter how much I want the photo, I’m never going to make my kids sit on Santa’s lap. 

Photo: Santa high-fiving a little girl (Text: Why I Will Never Make My Kids Sit on Santa's Lap)

“My kids are notorious for not wanting to take pictures with Santa,” I commented to the person waiting at the mall kiosk. She had just pointed out that we could have made reservations to see Santa instead of waiting in line. But there was no way I was having my mother-in-law pay $40 ahead of time for my two sons to then refuse to be in the picture.

I wasn’t exaggerating. The only photos we had of our kids with Santa were from when they were too young to care. They’re each less than a year old in their respective photos. But once they hit two? Nope, nada, absolutely not. They wouldn’t even go near him. At Sesame Place’s Christmas celebration, my then four-year-old wanted a photo with Elmo, but he was only posing with Santa. So my son planted himself solidly on the other side of Elmo, as far away from the big guy as possible.

But did I try to force them to do it anyway? Nope. I never tried to force them to sit on Santa’s lap. It’s for similar reasons I’ll never make them hug or kiss a relative – or anyone, really.

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Guest Post on Romper: I Went Into Labor During A Job Interview, & Lived To Tell The Tale

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Whenever someone asks about the birth story of my younger son, I usually start with, “Well, I was in an interview at NASA…” That start always gets them listening! I had the privilege of being able to share this story over at Romper with my article “I Went into Labor During a Job Interview and Lived to Tell the Tale.”

Here’s the first paragraph:

“I may be having pre-labor pains,” I said, trying to smile at the NASA employee about to interview me. “So if you see me making some funny faces, that’s why.” He paused for a split second. Then he nodded and chuckled like “ha ha, NBD.” NASA deals with landing robots on planets millions of miles away, so I guess a woman possibly in labor figures low on the excitement scale. As he passed through the security gate, I followed him, waddling along. Going on a job interview while pregnant isn’t anyone’s dream situation to begin with, but neither of us quite anticipated what we were in for.

Read the rest – including why I screamed at my husband for making a sandwich – over at Romper. 

Note: this article went up a full year ago and I forgot to share it then. There will be several more like this in the next few weeks as I update my page.

The Day I Felt like a Failure as a Mom

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Photo: Little boy playing Legos. (Text: The Day I Felt Like a Failure as a Mom)

As my chest heaved with heavy sobs, I heard the door open. My five-year-old, clad in pajamas, walked out of of his room. Seeing the tears streaming down my face, he stared.

“Your yelling woke me up,” he said. I just looked back without words, blinking.

“Mommy is feeling sad,” my husband said. He got up off the couch and ushered my son back to bed.

A wave of shame swept over me. Did he overhear me talking? My cry of frustration was over how my son had been treating me.

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How I Became An Environmental Mom

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Photo: Young boy hugging a tree (Text: How I Became An Environmental Mom)

Shovel in hand, I scooped up clod after clod of dirt from our yard. My four-year-old self placed each scoop-full in a pile, leaving a hole in front of me. Each time, some fell on my pink sweatpants, but I just focused on my task. In the sandy soil, I encountered worms, pill-bugs, grubs. I looked at them and shrugged, placing them to the side. The word sustainability wasn’t in the parlance then. I didn’t know or care why it’s good for kids to play outdoors. I just knew that I felt like I was doing something powerful, even if it was only powerful to me.

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What Happens When You Let Go Of Control As A Mom

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 1 Comment

What Happens When You Let Go Of Control As A Mom (Photo: Man and child looking at waterfall)

Looking out on the vast, rushing waters, I realized that this waterfall is where I visit when life feels beyond my control.

I visited here not long after my older son was born. The days were long, spent with a baby who refused to be put down for even a minute without crying. Afternoons and evenings stretched out, just us together after we walked my husband to the subway for work. The nights were longer, up every few hours rocking and nursing, rocking and nursing, wondering when it would be over.

But I came here and found something bigger than the confines of my little home. I pushed him in the stroller and nursed him on the bench, letting the roar of the water fill my soul. 

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How a Kindergarten Pumpkin Defeated My Perfectionism

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

How a Kindergarten Pumpkin Defeated My Perfectionism (Photo: Pumpkin pattern on paper on a table)

Don’t say anything, don’t say anything, I repeated to myself as I looked at my son’s construction paper pumpkin.

The pumpkin was a “family project” from kindergarten, a totally optional assignment for fun. 

It started out simply enough. Cut out the template and trace it onto the construction paper. But as soon as he lifted up the template, I noticed something. There were huge gaps in the lines. This could be better, I thought. But I don’t want to tell him it’s wrong!

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How To Be A One Car Family

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

How to Be A One-Car Family (Photo: One child pushing another down the sidewalk in a toy car)

“How close is this house to the bus stop?” I asked the realtor as we looked for our house. While that’s not a typical question, it was essential for us. That’s because we only have one car.

People claimed that we’d have to buy a second car once we had kids – especially living in the suburbs. But even after having a second kid, we’ve managed to get by quite happily as a one-car family. It’s even possible to be a zero-car family – one of my friends has four kids and doesn’t own a car! Even if you own a second car now, you may want to consider not buying another one when you retire it. According to AAA, the average family spends $8,500 per car each year on payments, insurance, and gas.

If you’re going to make the leap – or just use the second car less – here’s what to consider:

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