When Your Kid Has a New Favorite Toy

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

 

When Your Kid Has a New Favorite Toy (Photo: White stuffed bunny)My son recently changed his favorite toy and I felt rather bad for his previously-beloved bunny. So I wrote a letter to her.

Dear Snowball,

I swear I didn’t know this would happen. When I said we’d bring the kids to Build A Bear for the first day of school, I thought it would be a cute activity. I didn’t know that the new guy – and I’m so sorry for this – would replace you.

You’ve been my older son’s favorite for so long. Longer than any of the other animals, in fact. At first, you were the stand-in for his beloved imaginary friend, who was also a bunny. While he loved Bear and Woof Woof and Taco, he loved you more. You were the first animal he gave a personality to, told stories about, and even created a whole imaginative world for! His bed became Bunnyland, with houses and stores and even a roller-coaster.

Honestly, you becoming the favorite was a total surprise to us. One day, you were just that white bunny Grandma gave him one Easter. Seemingly the next, you were The Favorite. And so you hopped into our lives.

But now, it seems like you’ve been demoted. Woofie is now the king, with his dog bed and kindergarten cachet. He’s the one my son brought to school for stuffed animal day. Woofie’s the one my son frets about if he’s not in his bed at bedtime. Compared to his soft, fluffy coat, your not-so-white fur is looking the worse for wear. I’ve even seen my younger son walking around with you without my older son complaining. At least you still have the more creative name. 

But what are we to do? I can’t make him love you more. I can’t guarantee you’ll ever be the favorite again. While I still have a few of my stuffed animals as an adult, I don’t have the relationship with them that I did as a child. 

The only thing I can guarantee is the one thing I hold close as his mom – that he loves me. And he loved you too. 

Because you and me and all of us are in this together. One day I’ll experience this too. One day, he’ll love someone else more than he’ll love me. And I’ll have to let go, just as he’s let you go.

We can’t stop him from growing up. The only thing we can do is love who he becomes. 

How to Save and Use Seeds from the Garden With Kids

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 1 Comment

How to Save and Use Seeds from the Garden With Kids (Photo: Bowls of sunflower seeds on a counter)

Two huge sunflowers rose out of my children’s garden, their once yellow faces bending down towards the Earth. Holding a serrated knife, I wondered how on Earth I was going to get their seeds out. But I had promised my kids sunflower seeds and sunflower seeds were what I was going to deliver.

Despite my conundrum, saving and using seeds from your garden (or even farmer’s market purchased produce), isn’t that complicated. It’s a great activity to do with kids that you can use to illustrate the life cycle of plants and teach them how to use as much of the plant as possible. It also minimizes reliance on store bought seeds for your garden. After you’ve harvested the seeds, you can save them for next year’s garden, feed them to wildlife, or even cook them off and eat them yourself.

If you’re interested in saving seeds, here are the main steps:

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When You’re Happy and Sad At the Same Time as a Parent

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When You're Happy and Sad At the Same Time as a Parent (Photo: Young white boy on a swing)

“We’re going to be a little sad when you go to kindergarten,” I said to my five-year-old son at dinner one night a few weeks before school started.

His face dropped and his lip quivered.

“Oh honey! You shouldn’t be sad about growing up.” I paused, trying to figure out how to explain this. “Mommies and daddies get a little sad about their kids growing up. We know you’ll never be babies again. But we also love watching you grow up so much.” I smiled, then got up and hugged him in his chair. 

What I didn’t tell him was this:

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When a Dinner Conversation Can Have a Big Impact

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When a Dinner Conversation Can Have a Big Impact (Photo: Open container of ranch dressing on a wooden table)

“But I want the cool sauce!” my five year old whined. We had just moved the container of ranch dressing closer to his two-year-old brother, so he could dip his chicken wing in it.

“Mine!” my younger son proclaimed.

“You guys need to share it,” I said.

“Then it should be in the middle!” my older son pointed out. To him, the solution favoring his brother was quite unjust.

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When a Parenting Fail is a Win in Disguise

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When a Parenting Fail is a Win in Disguise (Photo: Young boy in a very long multicolored sweater on a path)

Going for a hike on a brisk day, I asked my then four-year-old if he wanted his sweatshirt. “No!” he insisted. Nonetheless, I was going to be the responsible mom and bring it along anyway. Just in case.

Arriving at the hiking trail, he climbed out of his car seat and declared, “I’m coooold! So cold!”

Going to look for the sweatshirt, my smile dropped off my face. Nope, not there. Not there either. Crap, I forgot it.

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The Two Powerful Questions I Ask My Child Every Night

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Want to build connection at bedtime? Here are the two bedtime questions we discuss every night with our kids. 

The Two Powerful Questions I Ask My Son Every Night (Photo: Young white child sleeping on a pillow)

“Two minutes left!” I say to my five-year-old as he gets ready for bed. He is not going to be ready in two minutes. We’ll be down to one bedtime book tonight instead of two. But no matter how late he is, there’s one part of his bedtime routine we never skip.

We call it “favorite things,” but it’s a bit more complicated than that. Rather, it’s a nightly conversation framed by two core questions.

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What the Advice to Moms About Self-Care Gets Wrong

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What the Advice to Moms About Self-Care Gets Wrong (Photo: Book and mug on bed)

Dripping sweat, I staggered in the door after my Sunday afternoon run, only to hear my two-year-old wailing “Mammmmmaaaaaaaa!”

“What happened?” I asked my husband, who I found standing outside the bathroom. I peered in to see my son sitting on the potty, his face red and damp. “He hasn’t been like this since he woke up, has he?”

I recalled some of my last words as I headed out the door: “Make sure you wake up [Little Bird].”

My husband winced. “Well, he didn’t want me to get him out of bed. And then he didn’t want to go on the potty. Then he refused to let me help him off the potty. Then he didn’t want me in the room at all.”

Walking into the bathroom, I sighed, leaned down and helped my son off the potty. After pulling up his pants and helping him wash his hands, I picked him up. HIs small arms wrapped around my neck while mine embraced him. My sweat dampened his shirt as his small face pressed into my shoulder. His crying slowed and finally subsided.

Guilt pierced me. So did anger.

“Can’t I be gone for just a half-hour?” I thought. “But maybe not. Maybe I shouldn’t.”

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When Expectations Get the Best of You and Your Kid

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When Expectations Get the Best of You and Your Kid (Photo: White woman holding her head with her hand)

A five-year-old boy sits at a picnic table, wailing. A Junior Ranger workbook lies in front of him, open to an I Spy activity. One animal is circled, then crossed-out, then circled again. Through tears, he keeps repeating, “I can’t erase it!”

Almost 30 years earlier, a toddler girl sat on the floor, struggling to shove a block into the wrong hole in a shape sorter. Fed up with the whole thing, she chucked it across the room.

The first was my son on a camping trip a few weekends ago. The second was me as a kid. I don’t remember it happening, but my mom has told the shape sorter story over and over again. The frustrated apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

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How to Bring Kids on Public Transportation

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Want to reduce your car use or get around a big city with your family? Be sure to learn what you need to know to bring kids on public transportation.

How to Bring Kids on Public Transportation (Photo: D.C. Metro train coming into the station)

The train doors closed right in my five-year-old son’s face. He was on one side; his grandparents were on the other. They were not reopening.

Thankfully, my husband was next to my son on the other side of the doors. They got on the next train and all was well.

While this incident was frustrating, it’s definitely not stopped us from riding transit. We’re a one-car family and driving in the Washington D.C. area is dreadful. Riding the train and bus are second nature to my kids.

In fact, riding transit can be great for families. It’s a good option if you want to cut back on driving in your own area or just try something different. If you’re traveling, it’s the only good option in many cities with heavy traffic like New York City and D.C. Riding public transit can also be an adventure!

To avoid the problems we faced, it’s keep a few things in mind:

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Why My Family is So Lucky When We Travel

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Why My Family Is So Lucky When We Travel (Photo: White man and two children standing on a boardwalk in front of a mud flat)

Passing by the neon sign reading “Guns” displayed in a Main Street store, a shudder of fear ran through me. “No, I’m safe,” I thought. I thought that in part because a gun store doesn’t automatically equal danger. But mainly I realized it because I became starkly aware of my family’s privilege while traveling.

Traveling with little kids is always A Thing. There’s car sickness, whines of “I’m bored!” and the world’s longest bathroom breaks. On our recent three-hour drive, we stopped no fewer than six times. When traveling, there’s always worries about kids wandering off or touching something dangerous, like a campfire.

But one thing that I never have to worry about is our family being discriminated against.

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