How Parents Can Help Love Trump Hate

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 5 Comments

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The election of Donald Trump for president has unearthed a whole spectrum of reactions. While some people are triumphant, many of us are frustrated, sad, angry, and exhausted – including me. Trump’s future policies are likely to be disastrous for climate justice, immigrants, people of color, LBGT people, religious minorities, poor people, and disabled people. Even though Trump hasn’t taken office yet, there have been numerous reports of people emboldened by his rhetoric who are targeting and harassing vulnerable people.

But as Valarie Kaur wrote after the Charleston shooting, “Today we mourn, tomorrow we organize.” Now, it’s metaphorically, if not literally, tomorrow. It’s time to pick ourselves up and take action.

While it can be very hard to find time, energy and money to spare as a parent, here are some constructive things that we can do in response:

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To My Children Upon the Election of President Trump

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 14 Comments

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To my children,

I’m sorry. That’s really the core of what I have to say right now. I’m so, so sorry.

I’m sorry that I was crying as we snuggled in bed this morning. Sprout, when you asked me what was wrong, I said, “The really mean person was elected leader of the country.” I almost choked saying the words. They just seemed so wrong. I’m sorry that I may be crying when I put you to bed tonight.

I’m sorry that our country elected a racist, xenophobic,  misogynistic bully to lead it. That this is the sort of leadership the people of the United States of America actually want to have. That someone who stands for everything that I’m trying to teach you to stand against is going to be the most powerful person in the world. That we can’t hold our future president to higher standards than I hold you.

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Unexpected Skills I’ve Learned As a Parent

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Changing diapers, chasing after toddlers, tolerating loud nonsensical singing from the never-ending musical from hell – all expertise one can expect to pick up as a parent. But there’s a specific subset of skills that my pre-child mind would have never dreamed up until I needed to do them. Here’s some of the things I’ve learned how to do in my three years as a mom that I would have never predicted:

Be okay with handling my breasts in public and exposing my nipples in front of my parents

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Hollywood: Give Us Sci-Fi Heroines with Kids!

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 1 Comment

Image: Background of cosmic photo. Text: "Hollywood: Give Us Sci-Fi Heroines with Kids!" We'll Eat You Up, We Love You So

Content note: Fairly minor spoilers for a variety of SF movies, mention of trauma relating to infertility.

2015 and 2016 have been fantastic years for action-adventure heroines. Rey saved the universe in Star Wars (despite the dearth of merchandise featuring her), Mad Max: Fury Road was filled with kick-ass women, Supergirl saved the world while her cousin was hypnotized, and Doctor Who’s Clara Oswald basically became a Time Lord. But there’s something missing. Perhaps it’s asking too much, too soon, but Hollywood, I ask of you – give us some geeky heroines with children!

Let’s get the obvious argument out of the way. Supposedly no woman would be getting in danger so often if she had kids at home.

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What Dressing as a Wild Thing Taught Me About Being Authentic

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 10 Comments

What Dressing as a Wild Thing Taught Me About Being Authentic. (Photo: White family dressed in costume as Wild Things from Where the Wild Things Are in front of a house)

Some moms worry what the other parents will think of them showing up at the preschool drop-off in leggings or even pajamas. But this day, ripped yellow leggings were the most normal part of my outfit. More eye-catchingly, I had a furry brown dress and giant red-tinged wig. Sure, it was Halloween. But that didn’t mean I felt self-assured at all dressed as a real-life Wild Thing, from the book Where the Wild Things Are.

We were at my older son’s preschool to march in the Halloween parade with him. As my husband, I, my kids, and my parents walked across the parking lot, I tried to hold my head high.

“You know, Shannon, you may be the only parents in costume,” my mom said.

I swallowed. “Then they just don’t have enough Halloween spirit,” I declared, my voice trembling. What if we were the only ones? What would they think of us? I figured our costumes would be the most elaborate, but what if no one else was in costume at all?

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Homemade Halloween Costumes and A Mother’s Love

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 2 Comments

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The pattern books spread across the long, white, slanted table. Spotting the orange and black tab, I grabbed it and flipped to the back. My eyes ran over the photos on each page, imagining what I would look like in each costume. My mind danced with images of spiderwebs and princesses, Renaissance ladies and mermaids. Near Halloween, I always loved going to the fabric store with my mom, where we would pick out the patterns and the fabrics for the costume she made me each year.

No matter how absurd or complicated, my mom took on my requests with aplomb. She cultivated both my imagination and love of elaborate dress-up. Now that I’m making costumes for my own children, I realize how much a labor of love all of it was.

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Parenting Fail: When I Don’t Like My Kid Very Much

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 10 Comments
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I am not the mom just standing behind the kid thinking, “Oh that’s rather mean. Lalalala.”

There are times I simply don’t like my three-year-old.

Fellow parents of three-year-olds may be gasping in mock surprise.

However, I really thought I could avoid this feeling. Child psychologists say that toddlers can tap into some of our deepest insecurities. Or as Chris jauntily sang to me the other day, “Toddlers are emotionally abusive.”

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Birth Stories Part II: My Younger Son

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 13 Comments

copy-of-six-months-with-little-bird-in-our-lives

This week, I’m going to be telling the stories of how Sprout and Little Bird were born. For two babies born in the same place in the same way, the births of my two sons could not have been more different.

No one was ready for my second son’s arrival.

Three and a half weeks before my due date, I told my doctor, “I’m having some pains.” I didn’t think much of it because I had some face-twisting Braxton Hicks false contractions earlier. Nonetheless, I didn’t want to take any chances. I was going to travel New Jersey to attend my grandmother’s funeral that weekend, and didn’t want to take any unnecessary risks.

Looking up between my legs after checking me, the doctor said, “You shouldn’t travel. You’re already four centimeters dilated.”

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Birth Stories Part I: My Older Son

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 1 Comment

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This week, I’m going to be telling the stories of how Sprout and Little Bird were born. For two babies born in the same place in the same way, the births of my two sons could not have been more different.

It was three days after Sprout’s due date. My abdomen kept getting rock hard. The feeling was sporadic, but I had been more than a centimeter dilated a few days earlier. Just in case, I called my family.

“I think I might be going into labor,” I said. They must have heard, “I am going to have the baby right this minute,” because they traveled down to see us as fast as possible.

But when they arrived seven hours later, I wasn’t in labor. That night, I still wasn’t in labor. The next day, still not in labor.

Instead of greeting a beautiful baby, my parents, in-laws and sister-in-law were just sitting around, staring at my belly.

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Science Adventures: Feathers

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Photo: Black feather on multi-colored gravel. Text: "Science Adventures: Feathers; We'll Eat You Up, We Love You So"

This post explores the biology and ecology of feathers. It’s part of a series I’m doing on using everyday situations to help young kids explore science – particularly ecology and biology – more in depth. 

The opportunity:
With birds winging their way south for the winter, it’s the perfect time to investigate their most unique trait: feathers. Find a feather on the ground to examine it!

The scientific context:
While feathers are unique to birds these days, they’ve been around for far longer. Unlike when I was a kid, scientists now think that many dinosaurs had feathers as well. Although they didn’t fly, dinosaurs’ feathers probably served many of the same purposes bird feathers do today.

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