What Dressing as a Wild Thing Taught Me About Being Authentic

What Dressing as a Wild Thing Taught Me About Being Authentic. (Photo: White family dressed in costume as Wild Things from Where the Wild Things Are in front of a house)

Some moms worry what the other parents will think of them showing up at the preschool drop-off in leggings or even pajamas. But this day, ripped yellow leggings were the most normal part of my outfit. More eye-catchingly, I had a furry brown dress and giant red-tinged wig. Sure, it was Halloween. But that didn’t mean I felt self-assured at all dressed as a real-life Wild Thing, from the book Where the Wild Things Are.

We were at my older son’s preschool to march in the Halloween parade with him. As my husband, I, my kids, and my parents walked across the parking lot, I tried to hold my head high.

“You know, Shannon, you may be the only parents in costume,” my mom said.

I swallowed. “Then they just don’t have enough Halloween spirit,” I declared, my voice trembling. What if we were the only ones? What would they think of us? I figured our costumes would be the most elaborate, but what if no one else was in costume at all?

Continue reading

Homemade Halloween Costumes and A Mother’s Love

handmade-halloween-costumes-and

The pattern books spread across the long, white, slanted table. Spotting the orange and black tab, I grabbed it and flipped to the back. My eyes ran over the photos on each page, imagining what I would look like in each costume. My mind danced with images of spiderwebs and princesses, Renaissance ladies and mermaids. Near Halloween, I always loved going to the fabric store with my mom, where we would pick out the patterns and the fabrics for the costume she made me each year.

No matter how absurd or complicated, my mom took on my requests with aplomb. She cultivated both my imagination and love of elaborate dress-up. Now that I’m making costumes for my own children, I realize how much a labor of love all of it was.

Continue reading

Family Cosplay for Beginners – with Toddlers!

My husband came up with a particularly hair-brained, nerdy idea in the spring – to dress him and Sprout up as Groot and Rocket Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy for a comic book convention. This is despite the fact that we have exactly zero cosplay experience. This idea would have disappeared into the Black Hole of Absurd Plans that Will Never Happen if I didn’t bring it up again last month. I believe my exact words were, “If you really want to do this for Baltimore Comic Con, we better get started.” And we did (eventually). The result was after many long nights last week, we attended Baltimore Comic Con in full Groot, Gamora and Rocket Raccoon costumes! Check out our Facebook album with photos of us and other cosplayers.

Photo of my family dressed as Groot (my husband), Gamora (me), and Rocket (my two-year-old son)

Here are a few lessons we learned, especially on cosplaying with a two-year-old:

1) Don’t be intimated by cosplayers online: Because I am a child of the Internet, I began with Google. As I told Chris, this wasn’t just for Halloween and I wanted our costumes to “not be embarrassing.” However, searching cosplay brings up a huge number of photos of screen-realistic, hugely complex costumes made by people who are or want to be professional costume designers. But looking at these beautiful but staggering cosplays, along with comments like, “The aim, for me, is not to make a costume which is clearly a costume, to have a finished product look unrealistic; the aim is to make the real world around it look unrealistic” made me want to go hide in a corner. Fortunately, I got over my neuroses and we just did the best we could.

2) On the other hand, use blogs and websites for inspiration and instruction: Once you recognize that you won’t be at the level of professional or semi-professional cosplayers, you can figure out what tips and tricks you can borrow from them. Chris got a lot of ideas for his Groot costume from this heavily-linked how-to and this less-complex but still excellent one. While this blogger’s attention to detail was way beyond my ken, her instructions for Gamora’s gauntlets were really useful. Also, think about how you can substitute out certain materials if needed. I wasn’t going to buy a bunch of dog leashes for the gauntlets, but a thick raffia ribbon Chris bought for something else was perfect.

3) If you’re dressing as a female superhero, ratchet your modesty way down and embrace your body for what it is: The first thing my mom said when she saw the movie poster of Gamora was, “Well, that’s skimpy.” Thanks for the encouragement, Mom. The funny thing is that Gamora is way more covered up than the large majority of female superheroes, including Wonder Woman, Power Girl (with her notorious “boob window”), Huntress, and even the 1970s version of Gamora. As Chris said, “At least Gamora has pants.” Even the female superheroes who aren’t showing a lot of skin, like Black Widow and Rogue from the X-Men, wear ridiculously tight clothing. As a pretty modest person who has held the opinion that “leggings are not pants” for a long time, this was very new for me. In addition, my body shape has not even a passing resemblance to Zoe Saldana’s, who played Gamora in the movie. But despite my body image woes, once I put the final outfit on, my self-consciousness started slipping away. As I saw some cosplayers that weren’t even close to the original character’s body type, being in costume is a chance to ignore the normal rules of society about what you should or shouldn’t wear.

4) If you can’t make it, fake it: I do not sew. My mom is an excellent seamstress – she made all of my Halloween costumes – but I never bothered learning from her. As Gamora’s costume required a ton of sewing, I looked for off-the-rack pieces online that I could modify to look somewhat like the original costume. I did the same thing for Rocket’s jumpsuit – I bought orange toddler pajamas instead of sewing them. This may also be useful if the needed material is particularly difficult to work with. Both spandex and faux leather – common superhero materials – are supposed to be very difficult to sew well.

5) Give yourself plenty of time to get your necessary supplies: Unfortunately, because I didn’t sew, I was at the mercy of online retailers. Despite ordering with plenty of advance notice, I didn’t receive two out of the three key pieces for my costume until four days before the convention. Similarly, don’t count on your local stores having what you need. I planned on buying green lipstick from our local costume store. I found out they were out two days before the con, too late to buy it on Amazon unless I wanted to spend an absurd amount on shipping.

6) Be prepared to spend more time and money than expected: Cosplaying takes a lot of resources, especially if you’re investing in it for the first time. Chris said, “It’s like cooking a meal, but you have to buy all of the pots, too.” But there are some ways to cut the cost, including recycled cardboard where possible, shopping thrift stores (although I find this more useful for generic costumes than specific characters) and using craft and fabric store coupons.

7) Recognize that you will be going to your local craft store at least twice as many times as you expected: As my father-in-law says, “No project is complete without at least three trips to Home Depot.” The same goes for the craft or fabric store and cosplay, although it may include the hardware store as well, depending on your costume. If you think you have everything with one trip, it’s a guarantee you don’t.

8) Heavily invest in craft foam: A lot of cosplay requires heavy-duty construction. While cardboard may work for some of it, craft foam is surprisingly versatile. It’s flexible, sturdy and easy to measure and cut. Even if your costume mainly involves sewing, you probably need accessories, which craft foam will often work for in a pinch.

9) Become best friends with your low-temp glue gun: Glue guns are to cosplay what duct tape is to home repair. I got more use out of the glue gun than I have since I was obsessed with making Pom-Pom animals in third grade. Low-temp is important for two reasons. One, you will burn yourself, multiple times. Low-temp burns hurt, but can usually be dealt with by shaking your finger vigorously and peeling off the glue afterwards. In contrast, high-temp glue will give you a nasty second-degree burn. I still have a blister on my middle finger when I hit the switch that goes from high to low temp on the glue gun. The other reason to use low-temp is that high-temp melts craft foam and similar materials like pipe insulation.

10) Buy the right tools for the job: I originally tried to use a photo glue stick to adhere the glitter that I planned to use to mimic Gamora’s shiny blue, pixelated fabric. Within a day, all of the glitter came off, and as the herpes of craft supplies, got lot lots of places it wasn’t supposed to be. I went back to Michaels and purchased glue specifically for adhering glitter to fabric, which worked much better.

11) Try on your costume early, so you have plenty of time to fix it: My original design for Sprout’s costume didn’t fit over his head. Much of the Velcro I attached to my bodysuit and vest came unglued when I put the costume on and the fabric stretched out. Chris freaked out at 11 pm on Saturday night when he put his costume on and it revealed large unpainted spots. Unless you have a full dressmakers mannequin (and even then), your costume is going to look and act much differently on the hanger or table than it does on you.

12) Acclimate your kid to both the idea of costumes and the actual costumes themselves: This may not be a problem for older kids, but at two, Sprout didn’t remember his Halloween costume at all. We had to reintroduce the idea that we could dress up as other people, but still be ourselves. “Just a costume” was repeated a number of times in our household the week before the Con. We explained over and over that daddy would be dressed up like a tree, mommy like a green lady, and Sprout as a raccoon. But even if kids know what a costume is, they may still be surprised or frightened if their parents are in a costume or makeup that makes them look dramatically different. To protect against that, we introduced the various pieces of the costumes over time. We let him wear his ears and tail around the house. I tried on my wig in front of him not long after I received it, which he declared was “Big hair!” While he first went “No no no no,” he became more intrigued by it as the two weeks went on. Similarly, I applied the full green face paint in front of him a few days before so he knew what I looked like in it. Seeing me in it also made him much more amenable to it when we needed to apply it for his raccoon eyes. Lastly, Chris showed him the full Groot costume several times before wearing it in front of him because that thing could give you nightmares. Although Sprout’s initial reaction was similar to the wig, he eventually warmed to it. When the day finally came, he was fine with all of the makeup and costumes, in part I think because we did so much preparation.

13) Be flexible, especially with kid(s): My only concern day-of was that Sprout would refuse to put on his armor, which I spent a long time working on. While he actually was fine with the armor, he did completely refuse to do something else. We signed him up for the kids’ costume contest, in the under-11 category. I figured his charm offensive and cuteness would out balance any lack of screen accuracy. But when we reached the Ballroom, he took one peek in and said, “No. No no no no no” and shook his head. With the wait for pre-judging being a hour and him without a nap, we didn’t force the issue.

14) If you have elaborate costumes, especially of well-known characters, expect to get some (or a lot, depending on the con) of attention: As I mentioned, my goal was not be embarrassed. As it turned out, we were downright popular. We had people ask for our photo at least 30 times or more. People would exclaim, “Groot!” or ask Chris, “Who are you?” so they could get the “I am Groot!” response. But my favorite was the little boy who caught me just before I was going to get changed. He yelled “Gamora! She’s my favorite.” He the turned to Sprout and said, “You’re lucky. Your mom can kick anyone’s butt in the whole galaxy.” Bless you, child.

15) Have fun!

A Halloweening We Will Go

Halloween is a holiday that is a hell of a lot more fun with kids. I love Halloween, but as an adult, I’ve found it oddly dissatisfying. As a teenager, I imagined celebrating Halloween as an adult would be mysterious and attractively dark, like a Victorian masquerade ball. But instead, I found out that people’s costumes are less interesting, parties are less well-attended, and it’s just another excuse to drink. While I suspect adulthood in general would be disappointing to my teenage self, I did rekindle my love of the holiday this year through a series of activities with Sprout. With a kid, you once again have an excuse to participate in all of the Halloween activities you remember nostalgically.

Our Halloween started early, with the Silver Spring Zombie Walk followed by a whole week of activities. My newly retired mom came down for the week to celebrate with us, bringing Sprout’s costume with her. She sewed all of my beautiful, original Halloween costumes, so of course we wanted her to make Sprout’s as well. (Unfortunately, her craftiness did not pass on to me.) We ended up picking a dinosaur, as he refuses to wear hats and it was the one toddler costume that didn’t need head-gear to be recognizable. Although I wasn’t impressed with the photo on the pattern envelope, my mom turned the costume into something spectacular. She found scaly, shiny green fabric that gave him a lizard-like feel. She added spikes up the back even though the pattern didn’t have them. She raised up the tail so it didn’t drag on the floor, increasing its aesthetic attractiveness and scientific accuracy. (Although I don’t think any dinosaur with spikes walked upright.) It ended up coming out better than the most expensive store-bought costumes, and of course, it was made with love.

Fortunately, Sprout really liked it. He didn’t fuss while we were putting it on, except for the head piece. (We have exactly two photos with the hat, both with me trying to shove it on and him in the process of pulling it off.) At first, he had a lot of difficulty sitting down because the tail got in the way. But once he figured that out, he seemed to enjoy the costume quite a bit while it was on.

That was a particularly good thing because we put it on him as often as possible. Early in the week, he wore it to a Halloween party at one of our town’s community centers. Despite the variety of activities, he spent most of his time sticking googly-eyed stickers on a pumpkin. But he was far from the only one enamored by the stickers and the fact that he didn’t try to eat them is definitely something for the win category. Later that week, they attended an party at the local kiddie gym that teaches his movement class. There, he cemented his tendency to be a bit of a thrill seeker by going down the baby roller-coaster multiple times all by himself.

Of course, Halloween evening was the pinnacle of the activities. I worked from home that day, so I was able to enjoy the whole evening with my family. We started the night with the annual neighborhood Halloween parade. The fact that my town and its neighborhoods put on numerous events is one of my favorite things about where I live. The parade had close to 75 parents and children, with a full spectrum of adorableness. Among the kids, there was a lightening bolt, a police officer (with his dad as a prisoner!), the dragon from How to Train Your Dragon, a train, a truck with working headlights, a bunch of princesses, Pooh Bear and Piglet, and many others. I wasn’t the only parent in costume either – quite a few adults got in on the action, with funny hats and full costumes. There was even a friendly dog in a purple and green tutu, which slobbered all over Sprout’s face when he got too close. We dawdled along, with the pace being slow enough that Sprout could walk on his own in parts. When he started going too slow and backed up the group, I would scoop him up and hustle to catch up to the rest of the group.

After the parade, we did an abbreviated trick-or-treating route. He was too little to know what was going on, but he also likes trying new things. Also, we knew our immediate neighbors would love to see him in his costume. At first, he was confused as to why he was standing in front of a closed door and would turn around towards us. When someone finally opened the door and greeted him, he got really excited. By the last house, he had the routine down pat, except for the words, of course. Our neighbors were so charmed that they gave him handfuls of candy.

For his hard work, we allowed him to eat a single piece of candy. As most candy is either too small (choking hazard), too chewy (ditto) or has peanuts (haven’t introduced yet), it was surprisingly hard to choose one. We finally picked an Almond Joy and plucked out the almond to avoid the aforementioned and ever-present choking hazard. He loved it, gobbling the whole thing right up. I’m not looking forward to the day he realizes what happened to the rest of his candy.

The one single disappointing thing about Halloween was that we didn’t carve a jack-o-lantern. We left our hard-earned, beautiful pumpkin outside since we picked it a couple of weeks ago. In the meantime, we had a number of warm and rainy days. By the time we went to carve it, it was so mushy that it wasn’t structurally sound. As it was the night before Halloween, we just used Sprout’s pumpkin with way too many eyes instead.

Parenting offers you the chance to see the world through your kids eyes, but this Halloween, I also remembered what it was like to see it through the eyes of myself as a kid.