How Parents Can Help Prevent Toxic Anger

Worried about toxic anger in children and society today? Here are five steps towards supporting the kids around you in ways that will help them learn how to manage emotions in a healthy way. 

How Parents Can Help Prevent Toxic Anger (Photo: White boy with a angry or annoyed expression on his face)

Content warning: School and other mass shootings, domestic abuse

“That could have been our school,” I said, blinking, my breath catching in my throat. I think the first time I uttered that phrase was after the Columbine shooting in 1999, where two kids killed 12 students and one teacher. At the time, I was a junior in a large suburban, middle-class high school – one suspiciously like Columbine.

Back then, I didn’t think that I could be repeating that phrase so often as an adult. How I could have said it nine times in 2017 or a horrifying seven times by February of 2018 alone.

Like after every mass shooting, there’s endless discussions about how to prevent another one. Sadly, “thoughts and prayers” won’t cut it. I’m a huge proponent of gun control, especially bans on high-caliber automatic rifles and access to them for domestic abusers and others with violent histories. If you agree with me, I strongly recommend going over to Everytown for Gun Safety’s website and supporting that organization however you can.

But there’s another major factor that doesn’t get talked about enough: toxic masculinity and the anger that goes with it. In the wake of these shootings, people constantly talk about improving our mental health system. But the vast majority of people committing these crimes aren’t suffering from depression, anxiety, schizophrenia or other diseases we associate with mental health.

No, they’re suffering from anger. Uncontrolled, unstoppable anger. Rage.

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8 Ways to Encourage Exploration in Your Kids

Want your kids to embrace life and all of its forms of adventure? These eight principles for parenting can help you encourage exploration. 

8 Ways to Encourage Exploration in Your Kids (Photo: Young white boy in a bucket hat standing in the sand in front of a mountain)

Watching my three-year-old scale the “rock-climbing” wall at the playground, I bite my tongue. Of course, I don’t want him to fall. But neither do I want to discourage him from trying this new piece of equipment.

In theory, I want my kids to explore their world enthusiastically. They should feel safe enough to climb high, able to assess risk well enough to know what’s too high, and gutsy enough to pick themselves back up when they fall. But as all parents know, it’s a difficult balance.

Embracing these eight principles to encourage exploration in our parenting has made my children more willing to try new things. It’s also helped them appreciate a wide diversity of people and experiences.

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