I am not the mom just standing behind the kid thinking, “Oh that’s rather mean. Lalalala.”
There are times I simply don’t like my three-year-old.
Fellow parents of three-year-olds may be gasping in mock surprise.
However, I really thought I could avoid this feeling. Child psychologists say that toddlers can tap into some of our deepest insecurities. Or as Chris jauntily sang to me the other day, “Toddlers are emotionally abusive.”
“Stop poking your brother in the head. He’s eating,” I said through gritted teeth. It was the third time in a row I had said it. Clearly, my three-year-old was trying to get my attention. But I simply didn’t have it to give. I was in the middle of nursing his younger brother. The most I could provide him was my ears to listen and voice to speak, not the mama lap or arms he so desired.
Needless to say, that wasn’t enough.
That was only one of many, many times I’ve felt terribly split between my children.
Two years ago, I made a controversial parenting decision. On the night before my son’s first day of preschool, I chose not to make him a “first day of school” sign. For that matter, I’m not making one for his first day of kindergarten next week either.
As I said on my personal Facebook page: “I was going to make a sign for [my son] to hold on his first day of preschool tomorrow. But I fell asleep in his room while trying to get him to sleep and woke up at 10:40. And now it’s 12:30 and it’s still not done. Maybe next year!”
My friends cleverly suggested a few work-arounds. “You can do it this week and say you forgot!” or “You can use Photoshop!”
But I didn’t take a single one of them.