family

Watching My Kids Get a Little More Independent Day by Day

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
A white boy in a rain jacket on a bike on the sidewalk next to a parking lot, with an adult on a bike in the background

“Hey, does anyone want to go down to the creek?” I asked my kids, who were sprinting across the sprawling playground equipment at a local park.

“No, we’re racing,” my older son replied.

“Well, I want to go down to the creek,” I said, with a hint of whine in my voice.

“You can,” he stated, plain as day.

“That’s true, I can!” The fact that they could play on their own, that they were big enough not to be constantly supervised and could come get me if there was a problem popped into my head like a cartoon lightbulb.

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On Making Cakes and Finding Your Strengths

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
A cake of a brick with big cartoon eyes and legs

I am terrible at making cakes. It involves both baking and decorating skills that I have never and are likely to never possess. Thankfully, I am not the designated cook or baker in our family. That’s all my husband.

My husband never planned to be a cook or stay at home dad. In college, he was a chemistry and then political science major. Frankly, he had no idea what he wanted to be.

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On holding expectations loosely

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
Photo of a model train going past a model of a farm in Mali made of plant parts

Sometimes, plans don’t work the way they should the first time. But that doesn’t mean they will never work, just that you need to adjust. As someone who gets stuck on expectations, this can be really hard. But it’s almost always worth it to figure out how to make it work.

Every year, we do an activity Advent calendar. For the past several years, COVID has prevented us from doing many of the activities we’ve done in the past, including the train display at the U.S. Botanical Garden. I found out that they finally relaunched it this year, outdoors. But the one day we could do it overlapped with a really important meeting of one of my older son’s extracurricular activities. So that was a no-go. But we were able to go after Christmas – not ideal, but better than nothing. And so we went the week of Christmas break, which worked out beautifully.

This lesson *may* just apply to far more than planning activities. When we hold on our expectations too tightly – whether to who our children are or what we do with them – we miss out on what is possible. As hard as it is to come to terms with what is not, it’s so much better to embrace what is.

What a Swing Reminded Me About Growing Up

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
Text: What a Swing Reminded Me About Growing Up; Photo: Two white boys swinging on a swing set at a park, with trees and grass in front of them

As I pumped my legs and leaned back in the swing, I noticed my younger son swinging next to me, in parallel, our swings moving in time together.

A memory of swinging as a kid flashed across my mind – the idea that if you swing in sync with someone else, it meant you would get married. I smiled. That saying was nonsense of course, mere playground silliness. But to see this being, the child who I remember being so small, swinging on his own, next to me, reminded me of our deep connection to one another.

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A Reminder of What is Possible with Our Children

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
Photo of a small, white child in a t-shirt raising his arms jumping in a pile of leaves

Side-by-side, my kids working together – I paused for a moment and gazed in wonder.

That afternoon, we had been preparing the garden for winter. Each fall, after we’ve pulled out all of our plants, we pile up compost, straw, and leaves to build the soil, mimicking what happens in the forest. This year, we had an addition to the process. When we ordered our seeds in the spring, my younger son spotted a plant in the catalog named for his favorite animal – elephant garlic. As we were also ordering carrots because they’re associated with my older son’s favorite animal (rabbits), we just had to get it.

So while I shoveled compost, I gave my kids the task of planting the garlic. My older son was (justifiably) complaining about the smell of the compost and loves picking things apart, so peeling the garlic was a perfect task for him. Once that was done, they needed to work together to plant it. I pointed out that it might be best for my older son to measure out where to put the cloves – elephant garlic needs a ton of space – as he has experience from math class at measuring things. Then my younger son could dig the holes, drop in the cloves, and cover them up.

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What a White Board Reminded Me of as a Mom

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment
What a White Board Reminded Me of as a Mom - photo of a white board with the words Question? Imagine Wonder and Explore around it with Where the Wild Things Are and alphabet magnets on it

The white board hangs on our basement wall, rather disused. A few letter magnets – an A there, a D there – hang on it, along with a mess of adorable Where the Wild Things Are magnets. In bulletin board letters, the words “Question – Imagine – Wonder – Explore“ posted around it declare its purpose – to inspire questions and inquiry. But while it seems unused, its appearance belies its real impact.

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An Unexpected Tour of the Adirondacks

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / 2 Comments

An Unexpected Tour of the Adirondacks, We'll Eat You Up, We Love You So; photo of mountains with blue sky

Note: This is an essay about an adventure that happened to me far, far before I had kids.

A crying girl, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and a supermarket parking lot. Not exactly the elements for an epic summit. But having missed the turn-off for our hike, we were now on the wrong side of Lake George in upstate New York, eating the lunches we were supposed to be having on the peak. By the way, I was the crying girl.

“This is your fault!” I pouted to my then-boyfriend, Chris, even though I had the map. I curled up in the passenger’s seat of his Civic, my tears falling on my bread. “If you hadn’t been speeding…”

“It’s too late now. What do you want to do?” he sighed. He got out of the car and started pacing.

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If You Have a Rabbit

/ Shannon Brescher Shea / Leave a comment

Photo of a white rabbit with brown spots around its eyes and nose on a hardwood floor; text: If You Have a Rabbit

If you give a mouse a place to live (not on purpose), you may not be able to catch them.

If you have a mouse that you cannot catch, then they may try to hide under the dishwasher.

If they hide under the dishwasher, you may try to set a trap there to catch them.

If you set a trap there to catch them, you will have to pull out the dishwasher to check on the trap.

If you have the dishwasher pulled out to check on the trap, your rabbit may try to go under the dishwasher.

If your rabbit goes under the dishwasher, they will definitely chew on the cords under the dishwasher and get nearly electrocuted. (And get you nearly electrocuted trying to get them out.)

If your rabbit chews on the cords, you will need to call an appliance repair person.

So that’s why we’re still waiting on the dishwasher repair person to get in a part.