Raising A Quiet Wild Child: How to Explore Nature with Introverted Kids

How to Explore Nature with Introverted or Quiet Kids. Do you want to spend a lot of time outside with your kid but they aren't the adventurous or "wild" type? Here's how to make the most of it for both of you! (Photo: Child in red jacket walking in a forest)

“Look, there’s a rabbit!” I exclaim to my four-year-old son, trying to keep my voice down.

“Where?” he asks, as I point to the animal.

“Do you see it? Let’s be quiet so we don’t scare it away.”

“Yeah,” he replies, as he watches the bunny twitch its tail. It looks at us, then goes back to munching on the clover. It doesn’t think we’re a threat.

While the rabbits in our neighborhood do tend to be bold, my son’s calm demeanor definitely allowed us to watch it longer than if he had a louder reaction.

While we may think of a “wild child” as boisterous, exploring nature isn’t limited to adventurous extroverts. In fact, more quiet or introverted children can get just as much, if not more, out of being outside. While he sprints and yell-sings inside, my son is naturally a bit cautious and calm outside.

Here’s what I’ve learned from exploring with him:

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Parenting through the Looking Glass

Parenting through the Looking Glass. What an adaptation of Alice in Wonderland taught me about adulthood, childhood, and parenting. (Picture: Illustration from Alice in Wonderland of Alice, the White Rabbit, and the Mad Hatter at the tea party.)

The fairy-like White Queen gazed at me intently. Lying on a table, her look invited me into Wonderland, a place of childhood on the edge of adulthood. Then she shoved herself backwards, flew across the table, and jumped to her feet, towering over us.

This was all quite literal.

Last weekend, Chris and I took our first trip by ourselves since Sprout was born. The trip was nominally celebrating our eleventh wedding anniversary. So we were in New York City, watching a play put on in a former mental institution. The play – based on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, and the real-life relationship between Lewis Carroll and Alice Liddell – sparked insight for me about childhood, parenting, and how both are more complex than they seem.

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7 Tips for Bringing Kids to Ethnic Restaurants and Others Without Children’s Menus

7 Tips for Bringing Kids to Ethnic and Other Restaurants without Kids Menus. Want to bring your kids to more restaurants but uncertain if they'll eat anything or be able to sit still? Check out these tips! (Photo: Ethiopian food in background)

“Where do you want to eat?” Anyone who has ever gone to a restaurant with their family has faced this question, probably followed by a drawn-out conversation about likes, dislikes, convenience, and whatever dish you got there last time. If you have young children, you may automatically exclude whole categories from consideration. You may never even consider bringing kids to ethnic restaurants and others without children’s menus.

But if you’ve always longed to check out that new Indian place but don’t want to spend money on a babysitter, there may be hope. It’s actually easier to bring kids to restaurants that don’t specifically cater to families than you think.

While it may seem intimidating, I’ve successfully brought my toddler to restaurants that specialize in a variety of cuisines, including fancy Italian, Ethiopian, Peruvian, and Japanese food.

Here are a few tips that can help:

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How I’m Teaching My Sons to Be Feminists

Want to teach your boys to be feminists? Here are seven ways our family is raising feminist sons.

How I'm Teaching My Sons to Be Feminists (Photo: T-shirt saying "Kind Like Daddy")

When I was pregnant, I imagined what life might be like if I had a little girl. I envisioned teaching her to stand up for herself, buying her dresses with science symbols, letting her get dirty, and being an example of a strong woman for her. I wasn’t going to stereotype her or allow anyone else to, thank you very much. In short, I considered how to teach her to be a feminist.

But as it turned out, I have two sons. Or at least assigned male at birth.

At first, I thought I had to reconsider my whole approach. Most of the things I imagined sharing with my theoretical daughter – my love of the outdoors, science, and geeky things – are typically coded male.

But I realized that the same principles applied to raising a feminist, no matter what gender my children are. While the world may try to reinforce my sons’ male privilege, it’s my husband’s and my responsibility as their parents to do better. The girls and women in their future lives need them to be feminists. Plus, boys need feminism too – the patriarchy hurts everyone.

Here are a few of the ways we’re trying to raise feminist sons:

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How to Be More Mindful and Present with Your Kids

It’s easy to lose focus or let your mind wander when you’re spending time with children. Try these six tips to be more present with your kids!

How to Be More Mindful and Present with Your Kids. (Photo: Man in a blue hoodie walking down a paved trail surrounded by trees pushing a stroller, with a child walking next to him.)

As I turn on my phone to check the temperature outside before going to the park with the kids, Facebook opens up. Five minutes later, I forget why I turned it on in the first place. Meanwhile, the kids are wondering why I’m looking at my phone as well – or trying to snatch it out of my hands.

It’s so easy to get distracted from the people and beauty around us. It’s especially hard to be present with your kids, when we’re pulled in so many directions – sometimes literally. As someone who gets stuck in her head a lot, I’ve worked on being present and mindful quite a bit.

Here are six approaches that have helped me be more in the moment:

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Why Our Kids Aren’t Our Accomplishments

our-kids-arent-our-accomplishmentsadd-heading

The overly cheerful Christmas letter is a relentlessly parodied cliche. Yet it and its cousin, the perfectly cultivated Facebook feed, call to us: “You want us, don’t you? Your life should be like this. Your kids should be like this.” And then we wonder – “Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. Maybe if I tried a little more, my kids would be like that.”

But for the sake of us and our kids, we need to resist the siren song. Not just of comparison – because that’s a shitty, dark hole to end up in as well – but of treating our children like our personal accomplishments. Believe me – I speak from experience.

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Fantastic Ways to Teach Kids How to Serve Others at Christmas

Want your kids to focus less on “stuff” and more on people? Try these six ways to serve others at Christmas with them!

“Did they have a home?” my three-year-old asked as I finished telling him the Christmas story.

“Yes, they had a home,” I said, skipping the whole “escaping into Egypt” bit. While his question surprised me, it wasn’t out of nowhere. We’ve been talking about how not everyone has the same privileges we do, including homes.

Cartoon of a Christmas tree

These discussions are important all year round, but I find them especially important at the holidays. It’s easy for kids to get wrapped up in the Christmas’s surface-level magic, from twinkling lights to presents. Instead, as both a Christian and someone who’s concerned with our society’s inequality, I want to teach my kids how to serve others during Christmas.

Here are some ways to turn away from consumerism and towards serving others at Christmas:

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Why I Didn’t Make a Sign for My Son’s First Day of School

Why I Didn't Make a Sign for My Son's First Day of School (Photo: Young white boy closing the door of a house)

Two years ago, I made a controversial parenting decision. On the night before my son’s first day of preschool, I chose not to make him a “first day of school” sign. For that matter, I’m not making one for his first day of kindergarten next week either.

As I said on my personal Facebook page: “I was going to make a sign for [my son] to hold on his first day of preschool tomorrow. But I fell asleep in his room while trying to get him to sleep and woke up at 10:40. And now it’s 12:30 and it’s still not done. Maybe next year!”

My friends cleverly suggested a few work-arounds. “You can do it this week and say you forgot!” or “You can use Photoshop!”

But I didn’t take a single one of them.

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8 Ways to Encourage Exploration in Your Kids

Want your kids to embrace life and all of its forms of adventure? These eight principles for parenting can help you encourage exploration. 

8 Ways to Encourage Exploration in Your Kids (Photo: Young white boy in a bucket hat standing in the sand in front of a mountain)

Watching my three-year-old scale the “rock-climbing” wall at the playground, I bite my tongue. Of course, I don’t want him to fall. But neither do I want to discourage him from trying this new piece of equipment.

In theory, I want my kids to explore their world enthusiastically. They should feel safe enough to climb high, able to assess risk well enough to know what’s too high, and gutsy enough to pick themselves back up when they fall. But as all parents know, it’s a difficult balance.

Embracing these eight principles to encourage exploration in our parenting has made my children more willing to try new things. It’s also helped them appreciate a wide diversity of people and experiences.

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What I’m Doing Differently During My Second Maternity Leave

People say that moms are much more go-with-the-flow when it comes to the second child compared with the first, such as in this commercial. Much to my surprise, I actually do fulfill this stereotype. And it’s not just my perception – both my parents and in-laws remarked how much more comfortable I seem. While the fact that Little Bird is a better sleeper than his older brother and a fast physical recovery helped, so did the knowledge I’ve accumulated over the nearly three years of Sprout’s life. Here are some of the things I’m doing after Little Bird was born that I didn’t do the first time:

What I'm Doing Differently During My Second Maternity Leave

Encouraging people to visit: While welcoming visitors is the opposite of what most advice recommends, it’s been essential for me. I get cabin fever very quickly; I was getting antsy after a few days of being snowed in this winter. Postpartum, I have to deal with the double-whammy of not being able to bring the baby to public places before he gets his immunizations and the fact that exclusively breastfeeding him means I can’t leave for more than 45 minutes or so. With Sprout, I’m fairly certain this combination significantly contributed to some postpartum anxiety. Luckily, this time around I’ve had three different sets of friends visit, bearing news of the outside world and nice things to say about the baby. My friends understood that normal “host” etiquette was out the window and I was grateful for the company.

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