I am terrible at making cakes. It involves both baking and decorating skills that I have never and are likely to never possess. Thankfully, I am not the designated cook or baker in our family. That’s all my husband.

My husband never planned to be a cook or stay at home dad. In college, he was a chemistry and then political science major. Frankly, he had no idea what he wanted to be.

So when he realized he sort of liked cooking after working at an Applebee’s, he decided that’s what he was going to do as a job. Later on, he even went to culinary school and worked in a fine dining restaurant for a couple years.

But then we had kids. And the restaurant industry is awful if you have kids. The hours are terrible, the job is physically demanding, and they expect you to sacrifice your whole life for it. So he took all of those hard-earned skills and applied them to making baby food, then toddler food, and now tacos and hot dogs and spaghetti. While the kids won’t eat his “fancy” food, they like his spaghetti and meatballs over everyone else’s.

His birthday cake tradition started with my older son’s first birthday party, where he made an adorable caterpillar cake. Following that, he created cakes of teddy bear picnics, the first level of Super Mario Bros, a book (for me), and R2D2. This one is Padtrick, the little brick logo from the Mario Maker 2 video game.

My husband taught himself how to make and work with fondant. He plans and bakes and frosts the week leading up to each kid’s birthday. No matter what else the kids get for their birthday, the unique, handmade cake from their dad is one of their favorite parts.

Most people are not going to be professionally trained in most skills related to parenthood. But everyone has their strengths, whether playing or listening or cooking or crafting. My husband and my skills complement each other and we each try to appreciate each other’s strengths. I buy gifts; he makes the cake.

Maybe no one in your family is going to make a cool cake – that’s okay. But find the thing that you’re good at and brings you joy. If you can bring that to your parenting, you can make magic.