A trip with cabins, right?” asked my friend. She was responding to my message about a camping trip our family was taking in a few weeks with her husband and son.
“Hahahaha. No,” I answered. I thought it was a joke; it was not. Knowing her general dislike for the outdoors, I had assumed she wasn’t coming. I was wrong.
Changing my tune, I said, “Well, cabins it is then!”
That was just one of the many ways I learned to tweak our routine and expectations to accommodate our first camping trip with another family. Because of the following lessons learned, our family ended up having a great time.
There is no cheating in camping.
I admit – I can be a snob. Hence the “Hahaha, no” comment. But I really should have known better. There’s no shame in car camping, cabins, trailers, or whatever gets you outside. After all, we car camp, which a lot of backpackers look down their noses about. Even though we usually tent camp, I was willing to reserve a cabin because it made my friend more comfortable. Having fun together with our families was more important than arbitrary standards of being “outdoorsy.”
Building character is good – but sometimes you need to build the parent’s character, not the kid’s.
A lovely little river surrounded by trees flowed by the campground. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to introduce our kids to the joys of canoeing. My friend suggested renting canoes, which sounded like a grand idea for us. After all, canoeing is a family tradition for us – Chris took yearly canoe trips with his dad in the Adirondacks. We crammed classic orange life jackets on all of us and piled in the boat. I was in the front with Little Bird on my lap, Chris was in the back, and Sprout was between us.
It all seemed good – except Little Bird was having absolutely none of it. From the moment we put on the life jacket, he was screaming. Once we started paddling, I thought he would calm down, but nope. He hated his life jacket, he hated being in the boat, he just hated it all. While I joked at first about “building chararacter” and being like Calvin’s dad in Calvin and Hobbes, we finally turned around and got off. Chris and Sprout continued merrily on for the rest of the hour.
Realizing that Little Bird desperately wanted to be in the water, but not on it, we went over to the shallow part of the river. As I held him by the waist, he happily splashed in the water and picked up gravel for the next 45 minutes. My back ached, but otherwise all was good. If we had stayed in the boat for the sake of staying, we would have all been miserable. Do what’s actually best for your family, regardless of what anyone else is doing.
Kids are all different, so you need to set your expectations accordingly.
This seems like an obvious statement. But when you’re traveling with another family, it becomes of the utmost importance. In any situation, what you think your kids would do may not line up with what theirs do. While he runs around in circles inside, Sprout is pretty calm in the outdoors. He typically sits and watches animals or wanders around aimlessly. In contrast, our friends’ son tends to be a little louder and more active.
When Little Bird was playing in the water, their son walked over to us and started splashing. I asked him if he wanted to see the fish in the stream. He said he did. Because the water was getting cloudy from splashing, I mentioned that he’d be able to see them better if he stopped splashing. He didn’t. I started to lose my patience and then realized that was pointless at best. If he wanted to stop, he’d stop. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t. C’est la vie.
Know your limits
I usually love pushing my limits. But sometimes, you need to know and respect them.
After canoeing, my friends and their son wanted to go swimming at the campground’s pool. (We were at a KOA, which are more like summer camps for families than anything else.) While Chris returned to the cabin to start the fire, I brought the kids to the pool.
This was, frankly, a terrible idea. Little Bird is too little to swim and Sprout has showed zero interest in learning. While this might have been okay if there a kiddie pool, this pool dropped off to 4ft after the stairs. That would have put Sprout’s head underwater. I tried carrying them past the stairs, but even trying to hold on to both of them was borderline dangerous. I made a rapid retreat and soon went back to the cabin. It wasn’t worth both the actual risk and the anxiety it was causing me.
Let kids be with each other.
One of the big advantages of a multi-family camping trip is that the kids can hang out together. Little Bird was too young to play with the big kids, but Sprout and our friends’ kid ran around like banshees the whole time. At night, they both had trouble going to bed – shocking – so we let them sleep together in our friends’ cabin, right next door to ours. Even though it was Sprout’s first “sleepover” with a friend, he did awesome.
Be even more flexible than usual
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about parenting, especially when bringing kids’ outdoors, it’s flexibility. That’s doubly true when you’re with another family. On Sunday, we had originally planned to hike the C&O Canal and go to a meadery (like a winery, but they make mead). However, because my friend had to work that evening, we ended up only going to the meadery. It was a gorgeous day. We sipped mead, ran around grapevines, and said hi to their chickens. If I had been super-attached to the idea of hiking, I probably would have been crabby. But because I was flexible, I could enjoy the great day for what it was.
While this trip was totally different from our previous ones, I was so glad we went. Even thought I stuck my foot in my mouth at the beginning, I’m glad I firmly removed it and put some camping sandals on to experience the joys the weekend had to provide.
Camping with little kids is full of surprises. From the first time with our older son to adventures with two kids, we’re already getting them plenty of experience. To keep up with us, be sure to follow us on Facebook! If you also love to be environmentally sustainable \, be sure to check out my Green and Sustainable Parenting group on Facebook.
Yes! We camp with friends two or three times a year. All of our friends are “camping people”, so instead of doing the sorcery that is sitting down with several families and picking a place that works for everyone, I say “We’re heading up to—on —. Would love to have you guys join if you’re up for it!” Usually at least one other family will make it. We also do a big moms and kids trip every year with 6 or 7 moms and 20 or so kids. It’s State Park camping (not my cup of tea), but we choose to think of it as hanging out with all of our friends for three days rather than camping, which gets me over the snobbery. (we were avid backpackers before kids, reluctant tent campers after the first two, and now –with some experience under our belts–we’re transitioning back to backpacking –even with our toddler!) Great article!!
Super smart. I’m curious what you don’t like about state parks though – too crowded?