“Why did you do this?” Reading the email from my coworker with those words about a mistake I had made, I was taken aback. I stared at the screen in shame and confusion. I replied out loud to myself, “I don’t know! It was a mistake, not on purpose.”

I don’t remember how I replied to her, but that feeling stuck with me. That voice in the back of my head arose just before I would send her an email.

In some ways, that accusatory tone was effective at getting me to avoid making mistakes. I was much more likely to double-check my emails before sending them to her. But it made every exchange with her tinged with stress, knowing she felt that way about me.

Over time, I realized that when we have that passive aggressive “Why did you do *that*?” attitude towards our kids, we end up with the same response from them.

To my younger son,

You’re five. How has it been five years since that chaotic day you came into our lives, three weeks early and only a few hours after I had a job interview? (Yes, really.) How could it have been so many months since they placed you – so very tiny – in my arms after so much anxiety and bated breath? When I wondered how your brother would react, how you would fit in our family, who you would be?

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Do you want to talk to your kids about climate change but you don’t know how? Even young kids are hearing about climate change, from overhearing the news to learning about it in school. When kids who feel empowered to act on climate change are less anxious about it and more able to make changes for good!

I’ve worked with Raising Luminaries to develop a Climate Justice toolkit for families and teachers with elementary school children!

Be sure to check out our toolkit and pass it on to anyone you think would be interested. It’s a free and accessible resource for all.

Shovel in hand, I scooped up clod after clod of dirt from our yard. My four-year-old self placed each scoop-full in a pile, leaving a hole in front of me. Each time, some fell on my pink sweatpants, but I just focused on my task. In the sandy soil, I encountered worms, pill-bugs, grubs. I looked at them and shrugged, placing them to the side. The word sustainability wasn’t in the parlance then. I didn’t know or care why it’s good for kids to play outdoors. I just knew that I felt like I was doing something powerful, even if it was only powerful to me.

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2018 is approaching at astonishing speed! 2017 was a hell of a year in so many ways.

Politically, it was….well, it was bad. But it wasn’t as bad as I thought it could be, mainly because I have a dark imagination and have read a lot of dystopic fiction. I’m actually surprised at how non-despairing I am coming to the end of the year!

My attitude is decent in part because of the good things in my personal life. Those have made up for a lot of the big picture shit. Sure, life with a preschooler and toddler is far from easy. But the worst of the one to two kid transition is over. We had some great family trips. Most importantly, I felt like I could finally breathe again. Even if I haven’t managed to get any more sleep than I had been.

Throughout the year, my posts have chronicled the ups and downs, as well as offered some hard-learned advice.

Here were my top five most popular posts original to 2017 (leaving out the gift guides). Fortunately, they’re also some of my favorite!

• The 10 Things Parents Must Teach Gifted Children
• How To Stay Sane When You Travel with Kids
• Here’s What We Should Do About Phthalates in Mac and Cheese Instead of Food Shaming Parents
• How Moms Can Reduce the Mental Load that Leaves Us Sick and Tired
• Five Benefits of Having a Strong-Willed or Stubborn Kid

Here are a few more that weren’t quite as popular, but either people said meant a lot to them or I just personally liked:

• Our Creative Alternative to the Thanksgiving Myth
• How to Introduce Kids to Political Activism
• What You Don’t See
• My Post-Baby Bathing Suit
• The Bedtime Dance
• The Glorious Chaos of Biking with Kids to the Grocery Store
• How We Built a Raised Bed Children’s Garden
• The Difference Between Being a Kid on a Trip and Being with Your Kids on a Trip

If you missed them at the time, I also published articles in the Washington Post, Mamalode, Her View from Home, and Perfection Pending.

I hope everyone has a great New Years and is ready for 2018!

A few years ago, I thought about what I had to do before Christmas and had a deep, sinking feeling. My own bedtime was already too late, my to-do list too long, and my anxieties far too sharp. I had gone through a personal tragedy earlier in the year and was struggling with a difficult pregnancy.

As much as I hated it, I had to give some things up. Even if it meant I felt like I was failing at Christmas. As it turned out, I didn’t regret a thing.

Here’s what I ended up not doing, what I learned, and what I’ve picked back up (and not) since then:

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